Glory Days At The Vans US Open Of Surfing

posted by / ASP, News / August 2, 2014

Grey is in. Jordy Smith is, too. Photo: Taras

Grey is in. Jordy Smith is, too. Photo: Taras

Keanu Asing. The young Hawaiian eventually lost to Jordy Smith in Round 5, but a 9th place at a Prime is a good result for a qualification year. Photo: Nick Liotta

Keanu Asing. The young Hawaiian eventually lost to Jordy Smith in Round 5, but a 9th place at a Prime is a good result for a qualification year. Photo: Nick Liotta

But before Keanu lost, he did this tail throw. Photo: Nick Liotta

But before Keanu lost, he did this tail throw. Photo: Nick Liotta

Josh Kerr says sup to the judging panel. Photo: Nick Liotta

Josh Kerr says sup to the judging panel. Photo: Nick Liotta

The blood of joy. After Willy “Buffalo Bill” Cardoso won his heat against Josh Kerr, he was so pumped that he punched his surfboard in excitement. Photo: Taras

The blood of joy. After Willy “Buffalo Bill” Cardoso won his heat against Josh Kerr, he was so pumped that he punched his surfboard in excitement. Photo: Taras

Killin’ it. Photo: Taras

Killin’ it. Photo: Taras

Kolohe Andino, half-past noon. Photo: Nick Liotta

Kolohe Andino, half-past noon. Photo: Nick Liotta

The bus to Globe’s Strange Rumblings movie was two-storied, exotic and harbored a great many drunk people. Here she is, setting sail. Photo: Taras

The bus to Globe’s Strange Rumblings movie was two-storied, exotic and harbored a great many drunk people. Here she is, setting sail. Photo: Taras

Mason Ho and Cheeseburger have more fun than a child with a puppy frolicking through a filed of dandelions and then eating ice-cream after. Photo: Taras

Mason Ho and Cheeseburger have more fun than a child with a puppy frolicking through a filed of dandelions and then eating ice-cream after. Photo: Taras

Family time with Dane Reynolds. Dane just released a new line of shoes with Vans, so his mother and brother came on down to celebrate. Photo: Jimmicane

Family time with Dane Reynolds. Dane just released a new line of shoes with Vans, so his mother and brother came on down to celebrate. Photo: Jimmicane

Here's Chas Smith and Dion Agius at the Globe premiere. Studs, these two. Photo: Taras

Here's Chas Smith and Dion Agius at the Globe premiere. Studs, these two. Photo: Taras

Felipe Toledo and a last-minute air in his close heat against Michael "The Texas Rattlesnake" Dunphy. Did he get the score? Photo: Taras

Filipe Toledo and a last-minute air in his close heat against Michael "The Texas Rattlesnake" Dunphy. Did he get the score? Photo: Taras

Yes! Photo: Taras

Yes! Photo: Taras

No! Photo: Taras

No! Photo: Taras

Brett Simpson and the dagger of all daggers. Photo: Taras

Brett Simpson and the dagger of all daggers. Photo: Taras

Then, skateboarding happened. Photo: Jimmicane

Then, skateboarding happened. Photo: Jimmicane

Curren Caples is a fan of surfing and we are a fan of Curren Caples. Photo: Jimmicane

Curren Caples is a fan of surfing and we are a fan of Curren Caples. Photo: Jimmicane

Greyson Fletcher, the kin of Christian. Photo: Jimmicane

Greyson Fletcher, the kin of Christian. Photo: Jimmicane

Raven Tershy won the Van Doren Invitational and this is how. Photo: Jimmicane

Raven Tershy won the Van Doren Invitational and this is how. Photo: Jimmicane

Isn’t she lovely? Malia Manuel. Photo: Jimmicane

Isn’t she lovely? Malia Manuel. Photo: Jimmicane

Jordan Smith. Photo: Jimmicane

Jordan Smith. Photo: Jimmicane

Bailey Nage won the girl’s Pro Junior. Afterwards, she looked completely terrified. Photo: Taras

Bailey Nage won the girl’s Pro Junior. Afterwards, she looked completely terrified. Photo: Taras

Josh Moniz recently won NSSA National in HB. Here he is in the Pro Junior final, trying to keep the spark alive. Photo: Taras

Josh Moniz recently won NSSA National in HB. Here he is in the Pro Junior final, trying to keep the spark alive. Photo: Taras

Matt Banting won the Pro Junior with a last minute 9.00. He wasn’t bummed. Photo: Taras

Matt Banting won the Pro Junior with a last minute 9.00. He wasn’t bummed. Photo: Taras

SURFING Magazine has decided to see, experience and cover the 2014 Vans US Open of Surfing with the hazelnut eyes of a bro. See the first chunk of coverage here.

Where did we leave off? Oh that’s right, I was dancing with the chick. She turned out to be kind of whack. Todd knew her and said she had a kid; I’m super not down with that. Total vibe killer when I’m trying to get my grind on. So we finished the Rumarade [that's rum mixed with Gatorade] and bailed on the beach. It was Miller time.

Todd, Zach and I longboarded to a CVS and picked up some Miller Lites. We went back to the Saturn to drink them and freshen up with more Axe body spray. The scent was called “Cool Metal” and I was pretty into that. Cool Metal, just like me — fucking steel, bro. This company called Globe was premiering their surfing movie and there would probably be some chicks there, right? Only one way to find out. We jumped in the Sats and cruised it to Long Beach. There were totally chicks there. Everybody was saying that all the best surfers in the world were there too but I was like yooo where’s Kelly Slater at? The surfing movie was crip.

After that, we went back to HB and kicked it. I had probably a million Millers. I was talking to this one chick for a while but she had to bail because she was driving up to a Wiz Khalifa concert in the morning. I was jealous. Eventually, me and the boys Ubered back to Tustin. Tustin’s pretty sick.

We watched a ton of surfing the next two days. We would get there super early and secure a dank spot on the beach. We stayed pretty close to the pier so we could bring babes under the pier and make out with them, but only Todd pulled. Todd’s got this hair that the girls all love — it’s flipped in the front — and his earring helps too. Kid cleans up. This dude named Matt Bintang was cleaning up too. He was in both the Pro division and the Pro Jurors (couldn’t figure out why they called it that) and winning like all the time. Filipe Toledo was dope too. I think he was from Mexico. Jordy Smith was good too, but his hair wasn’t as nice as Todd’s. Whatever.

Tomorrow’s the final day I think. Just checked my watch and guess what? It’s Miller time, haha! I’ll let you guys know how my night goes. Peace. —Kearny Mesa

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  • bobby

    Where are the ..F ing waves…..this is not a surfing contest its just playing in the water….

  • Poway shreds the gnar

    Buck gone broganzo–the only way to cover US Open. But, forgotten in East County was the Banana Boat bonzer, the gold Saint Christopher chain, boogie board, skinfade, manicured chest hair, alternating pectoral flexes interspersed between fist pumps. Minute details that immolate a bro’s opportunity for said ‘free hugs’ from underage daughters with taught bottoms and pink and purple braces bands. Too much Fadorade, dog, not enough hair jelly. But, there’s always next year, Broganzo. There’s always next year.