Round 2 At The 2014 Billabong Pro Tahiti

posted by / ASP / August 19, 2014

Josh Kerr set the pace in the first heat with a 17.90 heat total. Problem was, nobody could keep that pace.

Josh Kerr set the pace in the first heat with a 17.90 heat total. Problem was, nobody could keep that pace.

Brett Simpson, loved by all, watched by Peter Mel.

Brett Simpson, loved by all, watched by Peter Mel.

Does this look like the face of a man who won a heat? Yesterday, it didn’t. Today, it does. Simpo.

Does this look like the face of a man who won a heat? Yesterday, it didn’t. Today, it does. Simpo.

SURFING Magazine has a 3-times-a-year quota on the word lush. We’ll use one of ‘em here.

SURFING Magazine has a 3-times-a-year quota on the word lush. We’ll use one of ‘em here.

It looks so inviting… inviting you to the hospital.

It looks so inviting… inviting you to the hospital.

So, you girls into portly Online Editors?

So, you girls into portly Online Editors?

John John spent his heat looking for a mutant wave that never came. This wave, however, sufficed.

John John spent his heat looking for a mutant wave that never came. This wave, however, sufficed.

Those locks! Remember when he used to date Taylor Swift?

Those locks! Remember when he used to date Taylor Swift?

Miguel Pupo, optimism in motion.

Miguel Pupo, optimism in motion.

Can’t change the channel.

Can’t change the channel.

Sebastian Zeitz closed the day out with a 9.97. This is how.

Sebastian Zeitz closed the day out with a 9.97. This is how.


All Photos: Brent Bielmann

Slowly perfect
The waves were absolutely perfect for Round 2 at the 2014 Billabong Pro Tahiti — just not all that often. Another day of South Pacific charm was plagued only by long lulls — the type of lulls that make you sit motionless on your board, scratch your head, look to the sky and wonder why anybody would ever try to shoot John Lennon. That kind of lull. But like we said, there was ravishing beauty on either side of the silence. We muscled through 8 heats of the reject round. Wanna know who won them?

Josh Kerr: Surprising no one, Kerrzy surfed exceptionally well. Too well perhaps. His 17.90 points against Mitch Coleborn in the first heat set a false tune for the day.
Brett Simpson: See what we did there? See what Brett did there? Well, what we did was mention Brett Simpson as a heat winner for the first time in 2014. And what Brett did was leave Ricky Basnett hanging with his hog in his hand as the only man to never win a heat for an ‘CT entire year. Brett beat Jordy today and his pride took a big ol’ sigh of relief. Next up, Joel Parkinson. Let’s get this year started Simpo!
John John Florence: You could tell that John John was on the hunt for the rudest slab that the ocean would throw at him, but it never came. 11.00 points were more than enough to book Raoni Monteiro’s early flight home.
Bede Durbidge: Bede Durbridge beat Glenn Hall today, but he did it in a sleazy way. Selling crack to the kids? No, just by posting a 6.33 heat total. It wasn’t Bede’s fault though; twas the sea. And the Tupac lyrics are totally my fault.
Tiago Pires: Mister Pires won a riveting 7.77 to 7.60 clash against Julian Wilson. Here’s how we’ll remember it: Julian had priority and needed a 1.78 in the dying minute. He took off on a wave and his back foot slipped off his board. He then (accidentally) butt-rode the entire wave, even battling a foamball at one point. We thought it was the score, but humor mustn’t be big with the boys in the booth.
Aritz Aranburu: Aritz is officially underrated. The Spaniard has one hell of a turn on his forehand and today he proved himself a force in lefthand tubes. Thanks, Mundaka. His 9.23 was the second highest score of the day. Team Aritz or bust.
CJ Hobgood: CJ didn’t surf but he still won. His opponent, Travis Logie, was injured — which gave CJ another day to rest after yesterday’s horrific log flume over the falls.
Mitch Crews: Two 5s were more than enough to beat Miguel Pupo, who coincidentally beat the living shit out of his surfboard as the horn blew. Now Mitchell faces Kolohe Andino in Round 3. Something tells us Kolohe is pleased with that matchup.
Sebastian Zeitz: Bass was .03 points shy of a perfect 10 today. We won’t make an AI comparison, but boy is it tempting.

They say that tomorrow…
More likely than not, the comp will be off. Get some work done, would you? —Brendan Buckley

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