A Letter To: Kelly Slater

posted by / Blogs / March 21, 2013

A Letter To: Kelly Slater
 

Dear Kelly Slater,

When my eyes first opened to the world of surfing, you were there, looking over me and smiling with a mess of short black hair, typical of a young father. By the time I learned how to surf, you had already won a couple of world titles. And you were my Superman. Throughout my formative years, you were nothing less than everything that I had aspired to be. And I was destined to root for you like a young Puerto Rican boy born in the Bronx is destined to root for the New York Yankees. I lay in bed every night praying that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree and I loved you. This love was meant to be undying.

But then I got older. Outside influences pulled at me from every direction. I started hanging around a different crowd — the crowd you had warned me about. Your surfing taught me not to do airs until my fundamental technique was as sound as the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner, but I didn’t listen. Those outside influences were tugging and I started trying airs anyway. And the situation only escalated until a meltdown ensued. “Fuck you Kelly Slater!” I thought.  “You only don’t want me to do airs because you can’t do good ones yourself! That’s what it is, Dad — there it is, I said it!”  In a tantrum, I threw Mom’s favorite patio chair into the pool and told you that I was leaving for good.

But then I got even older and you might even say that I grew up. My angst had died; my spirit was no longer rebellious. And one day, when I pumped nine times while racing race down the line only to mistime an air on the best wave of the day, I came to a realization. You were right, Kelly, and you always have been. You are the best surfer in the world. And even if your nose does sometimes look like a seesaw with a fat kid on the tail on some of your airs, I still love you. Nobody is perfect, but you are very close. And when I saw you get that should-have-been-10 in the final against Parko, I knew it was time to come back home. You probably knew all along that I’d be crawling back someday, hopeless and sorry. Well, guess what Kelly — here I am.

I love you.

Your biggest fan,

Brendan Buckley

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28 Responses to “A Letter To: Kelly Slater”

  1. TDog says:

    Huh?! WTF was that?! I hope KS has security detail 24/7. Sick weirdo!

  2. Parko says:

    Saracam isn’t to hard to find, especially in this letter… You clearly don’t know sarcasm… ^^

  3. Jax says:

    weird shit…

  4. jer says:

    fuck this is so good!

  5. tyler says:

    wheely airs

  6. Anyone says:

    Man that’s a weak post. back slapping a legend without any skills is so fcuking sad. I assume Brendan is a guy… this post isn’t sarcastic, its dribble. the real ‘journo’s’ won’t address any issues either and as random as that would seem, it makes Brendan legit.

    Which is weak.

    For the love of the Laird, please retire your keyboard.

  7. Myers says:

    Buck, your writing is like fresh squeezed OJ in the morning. Keep it coming.
    BTW…I hate when the fat kid sits on my tail!

  8. Awesome says:

    kelly… more than just a great surfer, if u read whats written in his board :S

  9. masniffur says:

    your a kook for leaving in the first place Buck-o……live with it….you were disowned by Kelly….and now your soul is gone….forever, no matter how many fade combo re-entrys
    you can fit on one wave…it’ll never be enough for Kelly to take you back….you’ve been replaced a long time ago….live with it

  10. Pete Hodgson/HodgsonHawaii says:

    Proud to say I know this man. Kelly’s knowledge and ability in the ocean are only surpassed by his abilities out of the water. I am so glad he speaks his mind and stands for the right things. One of a kind is way to simple to say here.

  11. Sean says:

    BB=AH

  12. James Bond says:

    Nice to see you working on your writing Buck
    Area561

  13. Nick says:

    Buck, you´re my kelly slater

  14. Mik says:

    Kelly: UR right. what we did to Iraq in the name of oil is beyond wrong. and saying so is what sets u apart from the less thoughtful politically, in the same way that your surfing statements set you apart from the rest of the Tour. HERO.

  15. Jason works at Verizon says:

    FUCK YOU BRANDON, I HATE YOU FOR THIS

  16. jo says:

    shut up you cunt!
    seriously what the fuck is this. and why?

  17. Sliding Sense says:

    Yeah Kelly. Move to Iraq and help orphans. That would be better than any of your 300 world titles. Take Sherman with you so that he can evolve into a real photojournalist. Hodgson the Slum Lord- Florida is waiting.

  18. bubba says:

    as sound as the new Boeing 787 Dreamliner? you mean the kind that did the emergency landing during a test flight? #writingfail

  19. Moke808 says:

    Lefty Liberals spewing their hate for the Iraq war. I’m just curious, if the war was for oil how many of you out there have V-8 trucks, own jet skis, and like Kelly travel all over the world? Everything you own is because of oil. Clothing, shoes, appliances, those plastic tubs you use to store all the senseless shit you buy! Americans consume and demand oil, so what are you going to do?

    This article was shit. How about Kelly go spend some time with a few of the Vets who got their arms and legs blown off?

    Oh yeah, and Hodgson, one of the greatest slumlords of the North Shore and one of the men who helped screw up the surf photo industry. How are those 3 for 1 buyouts working for you Pete? Don’t be fooled by Hodgson, typical liberal who owns a million dollar house on the North Shore and whines about money constantly!

    Surfer Mag, why do you post so much shit??? So happy I ended my subscription!

  20. Moke808 says:

    * I meant Surfing Mag in my last sentence.

  21. rattone says:

    Fuck yeah! I hate politicians, war and the American government but nobody can deny big Moke808 just called out all of you fuckers for your hypocritical bullshit!! Kelly isn’t driving biodiesel trucks or electric cars, he can afford that as much as anybody! Instead he drives his v-8 Mercedes SUV’s and whatever else! Wouldn’t be a supply if there was no demand. Just stick to what you know and surf for us please, i’m not, nor ever will be a soldier or government supporter, I am just someone who can see things from all perspectives and you can’t complain or “protest” something that you contribute to causing on a daily basis? for fucks sake already’

  22. Chris says:

    love? Or hate? What were you tough ? Is who you are!

  23. Paddington says:

    Man, Brendan Buckley learned to write – and got his wise-arse, sarcasm game – from South Jetty Bill/Paddington Jetty Bear.

  24. Ji says:

    Man, you are that famous for that is about the srangest group of groupies. group, groups. FAME… FAMOUS! Searing….. uh, Surfing, Surfed. That uh, they are, says, who-the-hell-do-you-think-you-are…. was cartoony. Longshoreman Strike; galvanized support to jobttitles.
    i recently got an e-mail ad-dress, and those, those are my slanty friends which lady, one of; at a laudromat-y recently told me about… “a childhood friend….” –Santa Cruz-y. Those, ladies aka, alias, and were caught many and often… for being ME!…that have been on t.v. news, front pages of newspapers, accused of hypergamy. Once in a while…STOOD OUT! to Metro, and travels via transported to a… gone awry, were Kelly’s celebrities, actual.

  25. Ji says:

    After the ANTI-” ‘getting along’ ” Ref. I have a dream speech, 1950′s; COLLUSEUM (Sp?)
    They, community, ” ‘Scummy’ and ‘hates people’ ” To That! For that person to walk There!
    After that, that many; Famous [Jogging lightly] Athletes, that section, newspapers, went to visit and was walking the Streets, and Loneresque, and [with Hand raised] to ” ‘not that tall’ “, said, ” ‘Hi’ “;
    The cars were pumping the brakes, and Suddenly, pushing the accelerator, and many cars went away.
    That many were travelling California, and was re-ordering much trail mix, thinking Santa Cruz…,
    Was a panicky and ” ‘put some distance between myself and ….’ ” And wrote reservations at Restaurant, To-The-Name; and says ” ‘Hi’. “

  26. sunnyside says:

    Kelly Slater is evil.
    He is a murderer.
    He killed Mark Foo and Andy Irons.
    Tried to kill me for not wearing his brand.
    Someone should think of him as a baseball.

  27. Peligro says:

    5 million orphans, who’s ass did he pull that random number out of? Maybe kelly should concern himself with parenting his own offspring.
    We didn’t get any oil out of iraq. iraqis kill more iraqis than we have. foreign jihadists kill more iraqis than we have. Stick to surfing kelly. you don’t know whats going on because you haven’t been there. How many orphans are in syria, kelly? maybe you could move to syria and join your clan.
    You want to blame somebody? blame the brits, they drew the lines.

  28. peligro 2 says:

    Kelly you don’t know what you are talking about. The jihadists like the other guy said have killed way more Iraqi’s than we ever did. How about all the people that died in the world trade center. How many orphans are there from that. Step off the soap box. I have been there. How about visiting some wounded soldiers at walter read instead of writing this stuff.

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