In the Hamptons, Surfing

posted by / Blogs, Editorial / July 7, 2011

Photos via The Surf Lodge

 

And I am standing at the bar of the Surf Lodge in New York’s Montauk. The crowd is young and prep and model. There are so many models from both today and yesterday. They gaze, searching for Wall Street husbands to support 10,000-dollar-a-day Balenciaga habits. And those potential Wall Street husbands drool hungrily while wiping fish-greased hands on their khaki cargo shorts. They are in summer mode. Surfy mode. So they also wear Havaianas and Billabong. And they flirt with models about the markets and about all the surf they’re scoring. Artists look on condescendingly.

 

 

The Hamptons, in summer, is the place to be and the Surf Lodge, this summer’s night, is the place to be in the place to be.

A surf film from 1971 loops over the entertainment system. The bartenders wear shirts reading “10” on the front and “hang” on the back. Or “5” and “cheater.” Longboards are hung from the ceiling with care. Surf Lodge. Half of the Land Rover Defenders in the parking lot have longboards strapped to their ragtops with care. It is hot and humid.

And Danny Fuller is here. I run into him outside under the stars while hacking a dart. He looks impeccable. We chat briefly about the Hamptons and the City and life before going our separate ways but I wonder, after we part, how many of the young and prep and model and Wall Street know who he is? I wonder if those with longboards strapped to Land Rover Defender ragtops know? I wonder how many of them brag about the waist-high closeouts they scored that morning before asking him, “Do you surf, bro? It’s fucken wicked awesome.”

Danny Fuller must find it vaguely amusing. He is the Ernest Hemingway of our world. Hemingway lived real fruity, moveable feasting in Paris and also hunted big game in Africa. Danny Fuller rubs shoulders with New York’s art/hip/model elite and also hunts huge barrel in Hawaii.

The effete bourgey Parisians probably bragged about killing cockroaches in their boho left bank apartments to Ernest Hemingway too.

He must have found it vaguely amusing. —Chas Smith

 

 

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  • Terry

    I predict of colorful slew of pro-Chas postings, starting………………….NOW!

  • JH

    Montauk isn’t “The Hamptons”, Chas. And the Surf Lodge blows. Seriously.

    Why do you think the owners have been blackballed almost everywhere in town?

  • i have read them all

    This is actually a positive article. FINALLY.

  • sam

    Chas raises an interesting issue. Wall Street surfers are only as out of place discussing surfing with Danny Fuller as Danny Fuller is discussing art with New York’s real artists. It’s a strange world surfing lives in these days.

  • Jay

    at least someone got the article ^^

  • blakerl

    :’( aaaaaw wall street surfers! there there boys. the best surfer is the one having the most fun… wait

  • jay coops

    kook lodge

  • JP

    The real Montauk locals are the old salts, the working man. The Wall St. Surf Club only wishes they could buy into the authenticity that was homegrown in that area.

    For someone who bags on the East Coast pretty regularly, Chas seems to be engrossed into the NY scene and its trendy hangouts. Funny how he is never there when there is surf… does he even surf?

  • PMS (wannabe PostModernShit)

    What attempts to be neo-anti-literary fails miserably here, constantly. Kerouac, Burroughs, Ginsberg, Hemingway… are laughing their asses off… so am I. Cheers to transparent flubbery, fakery and ripping off the Beats! One. Article. At. A. Time. Jolly good times! HA!

  • killyridols

    i remember downing shots of tequila, smoking joints, and getting very creepy inside that bar with Joel Tudor, 16 sweaty longboard dudes, and their artsy entourages last fall… it’s only trendy when douches like you show up in the middle of summer, Chas

  • Skud

    Shut up Chas. Just shut up. On second thought, keep talking. Your half-assed trainwreck of an excuse for journalism reminds me to enjoy every day of my life. Knowing that you’re still out there and still retarded helps me wake up with every rising sun and feel good about the fact that I am not Chas Smith. Funny, if you read deeper into the story, it’s all about Chas being a pompous dick about the fact that he knows who Danny Fuller is. He’s using Danny as a way to feel somehow better than the very people who he tries so hard to be, but consistently falls short. You know, those “Wall Street Surfers”. He’s wishing he had the attention of some model looking to support her 10,000-dollar-a-day Balenciaga habit on his bill. But he doesn’t. So he uses this idea of being a “true surfer” to go home and sleep at night, knowing full well he’s still just a douchebag so-called “journalist” surf whore. The truth is, Chas was there looking for some billionaire Wall Street guy to take him home and support his 10,000-dollar-a-day cocaine and gay penis habit. But they were more interested in the models. So instead, Chas goes home and cries into his keyboard, using a surf publication to make himself feel better about his pathetic, empty life. And somehow he gets paid for it. Right on Chas.

  • John

    “gay penis habit” hahahahaha

  • Ben

    What can I say, I enjoyed this read. The first of Chas Smith’s articles not exclusively focused on himself. It was a fun cultural slice.

  • chris

    writing about ernest hemingway is the 2nd most cliche thing to do in writing, and go ask rob gilley at surfermag what the first most cliche thing in writing is. and when i meet you and talk shit to you, you better punch me out too. just wait chas.

  • Barry

    …there is an idea of a Chas, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.

  • JT

    Paul Allen has mistaken Chas Smith for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at Surfing and in fact does the same exact thing he does and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and Chas even go to the same barber, although he has a slightly better haircut.