Jimmicane’s Passion Picks: Lowers

posted by / Blogs / September 19, 2011

Passion Picks Lowers


“I’m trying to take this seriously for Lowers but it’s hard when the waves aren’t going to be very serious. We’re in for a long week folks.” —Jimmicane


Passion Picks for the 2011 Hurley Lowers Pro:

Kelly Slater

I’m riding with Ke11y for the rest of the year. He’s on a killing spree. Honestly I can’t believe he lost to Owen in the NY final, although I am glad Owen won it. You just don’t see Kelly lose in finals often. Kolohe mentions how Slater never peaks too early in events. He just does what he needs to do then saves his best for last. I guess in NY he blew his load in the semis with that full-rotator late slob against Taj. I also want to say a thank you to Slater for doing that because I pretty much got the best photo of my life. You will see it in SURFING soon.

Taj Burrow

The bottom line is, Taj is surfing as good as he ever has. Sure he’s still cursed and isn’t going to win the world title, but he’s givin’ it hell. Kinda like the Buffalo Bills of the ’90s. Some people are just unlucky to be in the same era as Kelly Slater, and TB is the most unlucky. Still, is there anyone besides Kelly that you’d rather watch surf Lowers than Taj? In my opinion there isn’t.

Josh Kerr

I’m an idiot. I took Kerr off my New York team at the last second and threw in Brett Simpson because I went to a luxury suite at a Yankees game with Brett and we bonded over beers and free stadium food. I love seeing Brett do good but it seems like I always curse him when I put him in Passion Picks, so I’m giving him a break and going back to my initial instinct. The judges have been iffy at best this year, seeming to change their minds about what they think is cool every event, but this one they are going to score airs and no one in the world is better at airs than Josh Kerr.

Gabriel Medina

How the hell do you go from unqualified to the 16th seed in your first ever non-wildcard WT appearance? You do it by completely dominating the Prime events, that’s how. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of this kid because he does Superman airs, which are completely retarded, but with the waves being small, there might not be anyone more dangerous.

Chris Davidson

I heard some story about Davo getting naked and being out in the hallway at the Allegria Hotel in New York. It apparently caused a bit of a scene. Not sure exactly what was going on in that situation but it’s legendary. That will land you a spot on Passion Picks anytime — but his Lowers track record is also ridiculously good. I just hope he shows up for his heat!

Pat Gudauskas

No one in this event has spent more time out there than this man. Aside by being one of my favorite humans on earth, Pat has been on fire with his surfing lately. In New York he was slaying shit between the jetties east of the contest site. The full family and friends crew will be down on the beach getting passionate. I can’t wait!

Miguel Pupo

I’m running out of budget down here so why not take a flyer on the dude who won the Nike Lowers Prime event? Again, not someone I’m going to put in my “favorite surfers” department, but he’s clearly got the moves to get the scores and he doesn’t weigh much so that’ll help in the small conditions. Plus he looks goofy as hell in his photo on the Fantasy Action Sports website too, so he stuck out to me. By the way, how creepy does Kerr look!? Holy shit! And Taj has a massive double chin. Davo looks like a serial killer. Medina looks like he he’s feeling a bit sick. Those photos are epic!

Wildcard: Rob Machado

I only had $1 million left so I’m forced to run with this. I was hoping for Kolohe but it ended up being Rob Machado. Some of you might know, me and Rob are #notbestfriends, but I did apologize to him in person during US Open. I’ve written him off publicly a few times for things like driving a creep van, being super underground negative, and
seemingly hating his life. We do have a bunch of mutual friends and after a week of being rousted in Mexico, Mick Fanning convinced me to say I’m sorry. Rob didn’t seem to really accept that apology but it’s all good. I gave it a shot.

Rob Apology

Here it is: Go Rob Machado! He and Fanning are ironically matched up in the first heat of Round 2.


Tune in to the Hurley Lowers Pro live here, all this week: http://www.hurley.com/hurleypro/

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Related Posts:

  • Jeff

    Jimmy please get your fat ass head out of the webcast interviews….Thanks

  • Jeff

    And why would Machado ever apologize to you of all people. Some people just don’t like douchbags… Go figure.

  • sam

    LOL. I love a country bumpkin as much as the next guy, but what’s with the Brazo love/hate? Shoots, you can’t pick your favs because they all got booted. I guess you could pick Gabe again though – he’ll still win zero heats!

  • Kaipo Gomes

    Why does Rob hate you so? Please tell as it takes a lot to piss of Machado. Maybe that’s why humans shit on Jimmiwank for his “I know it all and am proud of it even though I am Johnny come lately from the wrong coast”. The fool only proves it when he opens his mouth. Something Jimmiwank could learn.

  • Rob

    Hes like Who is this fat lil kid from jax?All the smack you talked,he prob never heard of u……And wheres your John John pick son???

  • blumpkin

    oh ya cuz it is not the east coast you are not excited…move back to the east coast Jimmicane

  • Jimmicane

    I never asked Rob to apologize to me, I’m from St. Aug not Jax, I should have picked John instead of Pupo you’re right, and why move back to the east coast when I’m having so much fun out here getting my fat head in the background of all the interviews with those epic sunglasses! You guys take things way more seriously than I do. Lighten up. Maybe mob out to the store and grab a miller chill, the best beer in the world (either that or Bud Light Lime for sure)!

  • tom tom

    conner got fucking robbbed…

  • Danny

    SAM: “Gabe again though – he’ll still win zero heats!” – LOL, are you blind, do you never saw Medina Surf or just racist? The guy who won the QW with the most points ever, the guy who every press says one of the hardest to beat in beach breaks…no chance in Lowers? Gosh, you are too dumb or too racist to not recognize this kid

    I’m sure you think Kalohe and John Joh are much better. But even they, If you watched the US Open, you would hear from Kalohe saying Gabriel is the hardest guy to beat in a heat.

    BTW – The only under 21 guys to win prime events was Miguel and Gabriel. And Gabriel won he’s first 2 years ago at age 16. So please, give me a break your dumb racist. I’m brazilian and admire all good surfers, don’t matter their nationalities. Try that one day, you may be less miserable

  • huhwhat

    Danny, are you sure that it’s not so much Jimmi being a racist (and by the way, people, he’s a Californian, who is now from the “wrong coast” alright… Florida doesn’t miss him), as it is that you, Danny, are shamefully sexist, for thinking that Gabriel Medina deserves to be bowed to more than, say, Carissa Moore, when he doesn’t surf with quite as much power as her? Heitor’s surfing looked stylish against Miguel, and Jadson looked smoother than usual, but you and your countrymen’s unquestioning devotion seems like it may be allowing hideous things to happen to Adriano’s style… so you may wanna tighten up your definition of “good”. And, while you’re at, maybe let Gabriel know he needs some “oomph” (though he did look better in today’s surf).

  • huhwhat

    Hunh, I think I meant “so much”, not “not so much”. Or maybe “you sure it ain’t not so much”. Who knows.

  • Danny

    I don’t like Adriano’s Style, I never called Jimmi a racist I said Sam, I did not compared Gabriel to Carissa, Sam did. The rest of your comments I did not understand much. Are you stoned or something!?

  • Me

    He might be refering to Gabe Kling.

  • Danny

    Maybe Gabe kling, maybe Obama, Who knows?

  • sam

    Gabe Kling, dummy.

  • fart face

    hahahahaha at the call about machado being super underground negative. Fully comes off bitter in his webcast commentary. He creeps on the youngest chicks…