Jordy v2.0

posted by / Blogs, Editorial / May 26, 2011

Photo: Pinchmysalt.tv

 

Juliet once told her Romeo: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself.”

But neither Juliet nor her Romeo could outrun their names, their destinies. Everything they were, everything we are, tied up in phonemes. Constants, vowels. Juliet died a Capulet, her Romeo a Montegue. And we die Smiths, Fannings, Slaters, etc. My wife might die a Wallace but I may persuade her to die a Smith too. Every accomplishment and every failure encompassed in our names. We are linguistically tied to our fates.

Yet Juliet’s beautiful fantasy of shaking off titles and assuming a new life reverberate still.

Floridian surfer Sterling recently changed his name to Jordy. Jordy Spencer. We spoke at length about his new identity and how he hopes it will change his trajectory.

“Really, the reason for the change is that I want to be taken more seriously. I mean, the whole centaur thing…people just couldn’t…this is a more serious side of me. And now that I’m more serious, people should watch out. I’m going to compete. I’ve started training. I’m paying a trainer, like, tons of money. Had a meeting with Billabong and talked with them. Let them know the new direction. I’ve spoken with Jordy too. He seemed a bit worried. He told me Jordy Spencer didn’t sound very good and maybe I should think about it. Should he be worried? I guess it depends where my surfing takes me….”

Jordy’s full name is Jordan Michael Smith. Sterling’s full name is now Jordy Spencer. And we all stand and watch and wonder where this saga will end. Can Sterling now Jordy radically alter his future by changing his name? An interesting experiment to be sure, backed up with hard work, training, competition and sponsor support. It is possible.

Sterling now Jordy may someday be an ASP world champion. Or he may commit murder suicide. We all stand and watch.

P.S. If you are Jordy’s friend on Facebook he didn’t delete you. Simply search your friends for Jordy Spencer. He is there. —Chas Smith

 

Jordy and Torrey Meister via Pinchmysalt.tv

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  • Claude

    If I am reading this correctly and it is in fact supposed to be funny, I would like to say that I wish surfers would stop trying to be funny.

    Also, if I am reading this correctly, someone has consented to marry Chas Smith, so I guess there’s a fetish market for bad writers?

  • mark cutback davis

    Sterling spencer is a fucking joke. Every picture is the same thing. looking sideways with stupid fucking readers on. Oh you’re a centaur, wow. Oh you’re pissing off Flores, wow. Oh now you’re changing your name to Jordy, like a true fucking dickhead. WOW!

    This guy is a fat twat

  • Curtis Beatlepork

    It is pretty obvious Sterling Spencer is trying WAY too hard to be funny. end of story.

  • The Realist

    This guy has truly lost his mind. I’m embarrassed for him.

  • stu

    ah, go easy on him. He’s just trying to make a living and his dad just died. It can’t be easy to have your career end before it even begins.

  • fuckers

    You internet haters are the worst people on earth. Im serious. Sterling is actually funny and he actually rips……who else is doing this sort of stuff? You are all so pathetic it makes me sick. Stu, The Realist, mark cutback, you are all rotten examples of humanity. Seriously go away and never come back. All internet haters should go away in mass suicide fashion. Your all so tired and old.

  • ACP

    Haha, Sterling is the MAN! Dude is hilarious and he rips. He has skills editing his videos too. Check his blog out. Most entertaining surfer blog out there.

  • Jay

    sterling is a bro, the internet surfers don’t like him though.

  • TWON

    what so he changed his name!? i dont get it… if he really changed his name, Im going to stomp an air onto him at lowers.

  • Spud

    Twonicles. You won’t be stomping anything.

  • Barry

    oh cool, you put the comments back on because you’re so hated you can’t even write an AI obituary piece without flak. nothing against spencer – just you chas – like always

  • matty

    No. It’s funny.

  • seriously?

    Seriously Barry? How much of a retard are you? Would you fight Chas man to man or, wait, you probably aren’t a man. Where do you write your posts from? Are you really ugly and miserable? Seriously, the world wants to know. Oh wait, the world doesn’t, you stupid fuck. Now go back to your horrible desk job and fantasize about having a dick.

  • Mik

    In the Uk they would say that Jordy has a sterling sense of humor.

    And they’d be spot on.

    Very funny, glad to see him shed a few pounds, and i don’t mean Sterling. hahahahaha.

    ‘Cause truth is, he does rippeth, does he not?

    And Chas, don’t be bothered by the illiterati: they know not what they say.

    Nor does anyone care….

  • Jonas

    Since pussy Chas took the comments off his AI “Family” piece, I have to post it here. To say that we are all a family is so fucking LAME! Are you serious. I know Andy would never consider me, or 99.99999% of surfers a part of his “family” you suck up fag. And there is no way you consider all other surfers in your “family.” Your just kissing ass to Kauai and the industry you coward. Go pop some more pills with the rest of the “holier than thou crowd.” Family? What a joke. You are the worst surf writer of all time. How did you get a job? Oh yeah, you suck dick down in the OC surf industry bubble. I hope they pay you well for all that swallowing.

  • Danger

    @Jonas, I think you’ve wildly missed the point on that Andy piece. Maybe rub those two remaining brain cells together and spark up some common sense.

  • ag fee

    No but really what happened to surfers gaining recognition for their actual surfing instead of dumb ass publicity stunts. I just don’t get it and don’t want to get it.

  • Jay

    Jonas has to be the ones over on inertia. Kooks.

  • ky

    haha so many babies on here.

  • JT

    @ag fee
    the thing that’s different about the inertia is their target market. Surfing/Surfer/Transworld/Stab etc are all basing their content on a younger crowd, which is fine. The inertia is just trying to focus on the people who surf and aren’t teenagers anymore.

  • Steve Shearer

    You saying all teenagers are dumb asses who swallow whatver surf sites tell ‘em.

    STAB pushed the hard partying surf pimp trip like a muthafucker,as well as airing plenty of dirty laundry courtesy of their sensationalist-in-chief Chas Smith.

    Then when the logical outcome of that life-style went horribly fucking pear for AI Chas claims we should shut up shop for “the family”?

    And kids are expected to swallow that?

    Fuck man, they ain’t that stoops.

  • KPilk

    This article was a waste of 384 words. No, I didn’t sit here and count. I have Microsoft Word for that.

    Sterling’s gig is beat.

  • Invisible Hand

    Chas,

    It is fitting you cast your lot with Young Sterling. The talentless are always forced to desperate measures to get attention. I can assure you that there will always be someone more desperate coming along in the future and the Invisible Hand of the Surf Industry Gods shall replace thee. The hand has spoketh and you better better dust off your resume. Maybe you and Sterling can take your act to the nearest Starbucks.

    Adam Smith

  • Jay

    im 21 and i shouldnt party cause AI died doing it? sweet, inertia sounds like a bunch of old grumpy people missing their youth so they complain.

  • plump blumpkin

    i didn’t feel like i was in andy’s family when he burned me three times in a row on a crowded day at lowers when he was taking every wave and then tried to fight me for staying on the wave and doing turns behind him. ya, not a family vibe.

  • Justin Bartlett

    I’ve noticed a trend in Chas’s writing. IF you skip the first two paragraphs, read the third, skim the next couple paragraphs, read the second to last paragraph, and don’t read the last paragraph, you get a semi-decent reading experience; at least one where you get facts and avoid the drivel.

  • Mik

    Jonas: you don’t get it. probably allot of things are beyond your capacity to “get”.

    plump bumpkin: doing turns behind Andy? to what, show him up? what a laugh. when someone like Andy is out—and there are only about 5 surfers in the history of the sport who are/were close—watch him surf, kook. learn something. respect is earned in everything in life. unfortunately he’s gone, and the line-up is still cluttered with the likes of you. as if.

  • red gecko

    sterling spencer is talented, however, 99% of us don’t care if he changed his name to Sue.

    chas smith is writing articles on this site and the reactionaries keep him his job

    the AI piece was pure cliche, and most of us want the truth, no one seems to provide it

    i am writing comments, but who cares what i write; i am another anonymous poster with an internet connection and a keyboard

  • Not Sterling Spencer

    Fuck you haters. Keep it up and I’ll change my name again.

  • yeah guy

    woe be the soul that gets in bed with Chas…

    @seriously? – you seriously sum up all of chas’ fans and definitely mimic is writing style; lots of “big words” and run on sentences, telling people they are stupid for having “day jobs” and drinking wine out of boxes. i am going to go out on a limb and say you are about 17 years old, go to a school that’s mascot is an Artist and that your mother has probably hit on me at javiers.. just a guess.

  • Barry

    @seriously? seriously you sound stupid enough to be taylor paul. you know that idiot that used to tell us what a man’s man chas was because because he’s got a tattoo of his wife on his butt or something. come out and fight? :P this is a blog moron. why don’t you come out and write. oh you can’t because you’ve got nothing to say that impresses anyone over the age of 14. I already know you think I’m an ugly desk bound loser because types like you have been recycling those insults for the last 20 blogs. At least I know I’ve made you angry enough to make effort to try and figure me out – and believe me dude – the confusion you must be experiencing in that neuron free zone above your shoulders does bring a smile to face on rainy days.

  • Barry

    yes i know my grammar is messed up in the last post.

  • closest to the truth

    JustaPOV made this comment on the Inertia,

    “ Smith and his Stab ilk were primo buddies of AI. They enjoyed being the ‘exclusive club’, the ones who shared a knowing glint in the eye and slipped away from the party to go to a far, far cooler place. So cool you couldn’t dream it up. Pills, powders, potions, beautiful women, great clothes, fast cars, uppers, downers, combinations of ‘em – it all made them seem so … successful. That’s the place Smith is writing from – the highest point in the Hollywood version of human achievement. Rolling like friggin superstars, with oh such refined taste, laughing at the sheep who buy surf clothes and, you know, need sleep and stuff.
    Don’t be surprised Smith says we should leave AI’s death alone. For one, he wants to stay in the in-club and remain a welcome bro on Kauai, and second, exposing how sordid and damaging their mutual delusions were takes the shine off their whole tedious act. “

  • Barry

    for all we know it was chas’ cocaine that put AI over the top. it really doesn’t matter what chas has to say or doesn’t say about it. he’s already made it clear he has contempt for his readers and thinks they should they have as much right to an honest article as oliver twist had for another portion of gruel. that’s why i don’t stand around and beg, ‘Please, sir, I want some more.’ He’s scraping from the bottom of the barrel, thing is – a lot of people like it that way.

  • Mik

    The only thing that matters to me is that Andy is gone, not how he left. That was Chas’s point and I am 100% with it. I do not look forward to seeing all of the lame scandalous nonsense that the media is going to fling at us. It isn’t needed. If you don’t already know that drugs are unpredictably or predictably dangerous, then you can’t read, and so why write something for you?

    And to get back to the issue at hand, kudos to Jordy Spencer for following his own path… A harmless one that seems to freak out the weaker minds in the surf blogdumb.

    Jordy!!! Romea!!!! hahahahahhahahah.

    too funny.

  • ba donka donk

    Does anyone pay attention to Sterling Spencer besides the surf clips? What does he offer besides surfing? Billabong execs are playing the surfingmag pawns…first the Andy article and now this.
    Transparent? Yup. :)

  • Barry

    @Mik – Jordy!!! Romea!!!! Hyuk, Hyuk, that’s a good one Mik. :|
    Chas might pretend to be defending Andy’s legacy but he’s really just covering his own ass. His happy band of brothers/sisters don’t give a damn about anybody, including their own. I bet things started going downhill fast the moment he took up with these glamophantic dweebs. But really, I don’t know anything about it or need to, it doesn’t affect my life.

  • toilet reflections as i take my number 2

    I think maybe surfingmag needs to hire someone that speaks portuguese, spanish, and french —> just get more coverage worldwide of events, and news. Maybe positive things going on.

    Like the comments above, we are sort of tired of the select media darlings like spencer—> There has to be more things of interest in the surf world than the re-naming of pooh to crap.

  • Erick

    Sterling is doing something funny and fresh with his surf career. People that take time to hate on him obviously take themselves WAY to seriously and should probably take that lump of coal out of their asses. Im sure its a diamond now.

  • plump blumpkin

    mik-
    no, i was not doing turns behind andy to show him up. i surfed behind him because i was trying to surf. that’s why i was in the water. i surf for myself and not to pay homage to surf stars, like you apparently. on a good day with numerous members of the WT in the water, he was the only one burning anyone and everyone indiscriminately at will.

  • olitico76

    Sterling Spencer is such a loser, it is just the biggest joke in the surfing world, oh my god so stupid he doesnt need to surf, he has to go retard school i am still laughing so stupid he doesnt know the name jordi sounds even more stupid that sterling what an idiot.

    Only an idiot knows the feeling!!! right Jordi?

  • olitico76

    Jordi spencer what a fagg!!! i am sorry it is so funny Jajajajajajajajjajajajajajajajajajajaj

  • olitico76

    …changing to a more important subject than joke of Sterling Spencer Andy Irons was best surfer he really knew his talents very well he did surf like a maniac i saw him surfing el hoyo costa rica that was amazing!!!

  • red gecko

    I love Jordy and Spencer.I like how fantastic it is that he changed his name.
    Does Sterling have any board shorts out?

    I would like to get a Jordy-model rashguard and some Sterling boardies, so I could be Jordy Spencer.

    I could pull centaur superman airs and look even cooler on land. Don’t worry, I don’t mind dropping a couple G’s just to be like Jordy Spencer.
    Can you do an article on what they both wear, their boardies, and rashguards?
    I will be waiting.

  • Jay

    That would be a rad story, how I got burned by andy. Classic andy! But this kids a dick with daddy issues…plump whatever his name is.

  • Barry

    But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
    It is the Chas, and Spencer is the sun.
    Arise, fair Spencer, and kill the envious Chas,
    Who is already sick and pale with grief,
    That thou her maid art far more fair than she:

  • Erik

    this is hilarious. all of it. long live the centaur. and RIP andy.

  • shorepound

    @ Erik yep, you nailed it.