Words and Photos by Dion Agius and Warren Smith
My life is messy and I apologize for the smell. I moved to New York with my friend Dion Agius. My backbone is wilted into a frail spaghetti noodle and my eyes are burned dry from not being prepared for this party. I now have a pale face and blisters on my sleepy feet. I am also fat. Dion complains of possible cellulite forming on his ribs. “Man I think I can feel cellulite forming on my ribs,” he said.
I’ve been here for a month and seen more sunrises than sunsets. You’re gonna need to think about that for it to make sense. Disappearing into poisonous vapors is now a possibility. We’re not proud of this behavior, but it’s not our fault. We blame New York. New York won’t allow you to not — not play, not partake, not meet people, not go out. Too many things to see to not see them. To many things to do to not do them.
Here’s a list of all the cool things we’ve done:
Got a ticket for drinking in the street. Photo by Nick LaVecchia
Warren ran face first into a pole while attempting to walk and text.
Both got yelled at by a hipster for not know what Stumptown coffee was*.
(Editor’s Note: Stumptown is unofficially the official coffee of the SURFING Magazine office staff.)
Saw a bazillion good live bands already, Vivian Girls, Beirut, Tame Impala, Sic Alps, Woods, Real Estate, Reading Rainbow, Family Trees, Delorean, Tan Lines, Glasser, Woom, Deerhoof (do a Joy Division cover set), Wavves, The Dream
Went to a semi-gay neon rainbow bright rave where we saw a topless girl with mud on her back perform oral on her man friend in the middle of the dance floor.
Lived in a crack den for a week without the landlord knowing.
Got kicked out of a crack den by the landlord for living in his crack den for a week without him knowing.
Dion met Kevin Rudd (ex-prime minister of Oz) at the MOMA.
Warren got hit on by a gay boy also named Warren.
Sat next to Lady Gaga at a Smiths/Morrissey dance night while she played spin the bottle with her posse of gay friends.
Saw art and other neato things of cultural importance.
Saw two guys kissing in front of a neon penis sign.
We almost went surfing.
But who are we kidding?
We’re not really sure how long we’ll be here. The bad news is we might die. The good news is we started a photo blog of our stay here, PROXYNOISE.COM. I hope we don’t die so you can look at some of our photos. We’re also working on something of particular importance. Well, not that important. But that’s for later. I’ll leave you a with a Sonics song that is of some relevance I suppose. It’s about drinking poison.
Related Articles:
Meet Lenard Smith and Mac Huelster more >
Related Posts
New York Noise Vol. 2: Dion and Warren’s New Friends
posted by Jason Miller / Blogs / August 4, 2010
It’s been flat in NYC, but waves are on the way soon. In the meantime…
New York Noise Vol. 3: Extreme!!! in Montauk
posted by Jason Miller / Blogs / August 25, 2010
Salt and sun – an all too familiar feeling. Warren Smith leaves the city for a few waves in Montauk.
Sterling + Warren + Dion // Seaside Reef // 2:09
posted by SURFING Magazine / Video / September 20, 2011
These clips, scooped from the cutting room floor of an upcoming film release, prove that Seaside’s fun any bigger than toe-high
And that if you don’t choke on their oddity play, these three guys surf damn well
Right on guys! Tear those gay boys a new one. How dare those faggys attempt to be pretentiously pretentious. Or whatever you said. I’m with ad on this one. Offensive shit. I’m offended. More offended than I was before I looked at this. Or Erinn, I mean geeze, really? I wanna know who came up with the title of this article. So I can punch them in the face. For you Erinn. How dare they. Jeff is right kids, take those god damned flannels off and put on a tank top for good god awful sakes. Maybe a pair of shorts too. I’m sweating looking at you. Above all, Yank really has got the right idea here. Where the hell is Dane? He is the man. I’m going to go look up some Dane youtube videos right quick.
p.s.- Somebody tell these boys to keep it on Facebook. Where it belongs. Right Kris?
warren and dion are rad
Slam dunkin like Shaquille O’Neal, if he wrote ifonrmtaive articles.
I’m performing a little something of the same interest and will be having be aware about this .Thank you.
Warren I love your boots and I must know where you got them. Pretty please?
I Have warrens exact boots. lol they are just an old pair of 70′s military chukka’s ebay has some. ill post a pick if you want
wait annie?
sweeeeetyyy
Dane Patto / DC team rider????? Think you got your wires crossed a bit there Wok. The kid has been spnesorod by Quiksilver since the age of 9 and still is .. or can’t you mention that because his main sponsors conflict with yours??? Ha Ha.. If you gonna report on the guy at least do it accurately.. Over up!