Baby, Take it Off! is Chas Smith’s column. “Surfing is so totally awesome sexy!” says Chas.
Anger! Anger everywhere! Rage! Just, like, raaaage! Oh my, oh my, and if THIS doesn’t ever feel like convalescent home bingo. THIS is surfing’s active online community, btw. And not surfing(magazine)’s but surfing(ingeneral)’s. Livid fingers smashing keys! All seeing red! But it still so fun! So sexy!
So, what? We’ve discussed how awesome real serious journalistic integrity is as it relates to our surf world. Now we shall discuss how not awesome it is to demonize our surf industry. It is lame!
I speak clearly, without literary pirouette: It is quite trendy (online) to really loathe the surf industry. The very and same industry that provides trunks and plastic watches is viewed, by many, as a monolithic regime with evil intent. Sometimes referred to as Billyquikrip etc., this surf industry is blamed for lots. Killing the soul of surfing. Killing Andy Irons. It is blamed and loathed.
Surf boys once upon a time rode in denim and canvas. Now we have this bounty. Thanks, industry.
Well hmmmmm. Hi? Lame! First, making conspiratorial boogey men has always been lame. And the pastime of weird olds. Area 51, Freemasonry owning all. Aliens. 9/11 being the work of the United States. Lame. It doesn’t matter whether any or all of these conspiracies are true, it is just way way uncool to care. Like, way. The same goes for believing the “surf industry” to be actively malevolent. Even if SIMA gets together and sorts ways to super overcrowd Lowers and price-fix and move all surfboard production to Thailand and tells Hollywood actors to hold those Thai surfboards wax side in, who cares? You do, if you are uncool.
Second, hating capitalism has always been lame. Capitalism is our lifeblood. It is our joy. It is America. And it has trounced all comers, from feudalism to communism to mercantilism. Capitalism, and particularly the American varietal, is a particularly robust parasite. It morphs quickly. It consumes. It gives the people what they want. And the surf industry simply operates by its standard. Those who hate capitalism, like really hate, are trendy ne’er-do-wells who tie banditos around their pockmarked faces and throw rocks through bank windows. Or older folks who move off the grid (to Montana). Ugly! The surf industry makes money selling a product, lifestyle, image, dream. Money. It makes money. It does exactly what it should. If you no like then go make and sell a better product, lifestyle, image, dream. Capitalism! So easy and causey-effecty and self-regulatey and awesome!
Third, being an armchair critic has always been lame. My grandpa was one. So is yours. Lame!
I feel those are compelling enough reasons to effectively demonstrate how not awesome surf industry hate is. So there you be. This whole business is a reflection of you and what you love and what you do and what you are. Self-hate is also lame. It’s what skinny pre-teens who struggle with their sexuality do.
Chas Smith profiles Chris Ward in SURFING’s Movie Issue [Feb. 2011], out now.
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I suppose hating this post makes me lame, too. But I do. I hate it.
i hope this is a joke. chas smith if you really think money is the coolest you are a douche. but good job hating on people who have values while saying that hating in general is lame, you are truly a donkey
Weak arguments..?
Are you implying consumerism is a sustainable achievement ?!
at least you mentioned AIs death…..
Poor Chas! He has become the voice of reason in a mad, mad world. Or … HAS HE?!
Is this dude trying to attract attention from Stab and eventually write for them? Sounds like it…Oh yeah, this article is LAME
This has to stop, this bad writing. At least, this time, i didn’t have to read one sentence about how staring into wardo’s (or any other pro surfer’s) belly button fills your day with inexplicable joy. Who cares if we hate on the surf industry anyway? It won’t stop.
Wow.
Are you for real?
First off, the brand of capitalism you speak of was the brainchild of Adam Smith. Yes, the same Adam Smith that was ferociously attacked for his radical liberal ideas. The same Adam Smith that extolled the virtues of labor and the laboring class. The same Adam Smith that maintained that in order for a nation to prosper under the free market system it must also maintain a healthy GDP – NOT outsource that GDP to the point of reducing said nation to an 80% service economy.
You obviously don’t know the diference between capitalism and shameless opportunism – the very same shameless opportunism that has inspired so much vitriol against the outsourcing industry you do such a poor job of defending.
I could write a book on the failings of the surf industry. Perhaps I will.
You simply need how to learn to write – and a whole lot more.
Man, the industry will hire anyone these days. Scraping the bottom as it were…
Ahhh… I love it when I hit someone for poor grammar with poor grammar.
Rearrange the “how” in any manner that suits you.
Any argument that ends by congratulating itself (“I feel those are compelling enough reasons to effectively demonstrate…”) is dead on arrival. An informed point of view doesn’t need to say it informs, it just does it.
And if by “armchair critic” you’re implying we must work IN the industry to critique it well, that’s dumb too. If I say a movie sucks, would you be all, “Well, I’d like to see YOU make it!” If I dislike a certain dish, would you be like, “Well, can YOU cook it?” Do you spend your free time exposing ESPN’s writers as bad QBs? Strange as it may sound to a man of your brainpower, criticism from WITHIN is the least valid variety.
What’s most tragic about this Chas person is not this Chas person itself, but rather that those who employ him are dull enough to believe his ruse (I’m almost said “elaborate ruse” but there’s nothing elaborate about it).
Hey Darnt. He worked for STAB before he worked for Surfing.
Hey Jeff. Sounds like you’re jealous that you don’t have the job. And you’re full of “I could’s”….. I could write a book…..I could simply need how to learn to write. haha. Go out and do it instead of waist time writing about percentages.
99% of “the industry” keeps to itself: a bunch of
self-loathing 30 year old’s going on 15. It’s difficult to identify
with people that are so focused on being “it”. Please walk into any
surf shop and let the fun begin. You are greeted with a “I don’t
know you bro” look. If you are wearing surf-related gear, you are
questioned if you are knowledgeable on the company, shaper, or
contest. Its one big joke. The people and articles like this one.
Go into the line up and everyone has a stone face. The sport is an
upper crust clown parade. And all those idiots moaning about
Jordy’s blog…proof.
Not all of the surf Industry is lame. Just you.
You pretty much spelled it all out with that “We Are Not
Journalists” article about AI. You were borderline retarded before
that piece, but when that came out you pretty much just put a stamp
on it. I’m just glad I don’t have to pay to leech of your website.
I guess in a way I contribute to your salary because I increase
pageviews, and I’m sure those are real enticing to advertisers. But
since I never click on the ads, my impact to your success is
absolutely minimal. Anyway, put simply: if you weren’t such
fuckw*ts, we wouldn’t have to hate on you. But you are, so we do.
We just now have a public forum to let you know about it. So,
instead of poopooing the very people that pay your salary, why not
try to actually PLEASE your audience and up your game a bit?? For
example, I think it’s pretty pathetic you still haven’t posted
anything on this site about how AI’s autopsy results have been
delayed 6 months because Billabo…err “Lindy” thinks it will be
detrimental to the “AI Brand” if they are released now. Oh, in case
it wasn’t abundantly clear to everyone: AI = Billabong. Same thing.
Synonymous. Are you seriously surprised by the hate? I suggest you
take a year off from the industry, and then go visit one of your
big trade shows after your hiatus. If you feel like you don’t want
to punch every one of your former “friends” in the face after that,
I will apologize.
Surfing, the industry:
Competitors are not drug tested.
The market is saturated with Hurley.
Surf writers only promote, and never question.
Uncreative marketed products: “psycho-freak” or “hyper-stretch”
Surf judges demote Brazilians’ scores.
This sport is doomed with articles like this one. Chas “tribal tattoo” Smith to the rescue. Chas, when are you getting a tramp stamp?
Trades shows?????? What are you talking about….. Only kooks go to trade shows…… We’re not sales rep, but I guess you are/were Tim. hahaha
Yes Nick, only kooks go to trade shows, such as guys like
you and Chas. These “kooks” represent the companies that buy up 99%
of the advertising on sites such as this one, so I’m sure you can
find Chas off in a corner somewhere, suckling off the teet at full
force. I’ve only been to a couple tradeshows in my life, but that
was enough to to show me that 95% of the people who make their
living off “surfing” make me want to vomit. My point was that if
you are OUTSIDE this little world, you can see that. But if you are
on the INSIDE of this little world, stroking each other’s dicks in
a circle jerk year after year, you probably can’t realize what a
gaggle of absolute tools you really are. You have just enough
people buttering your muffin and telling you how cool you are,
simply to further their own bottom line.
awesome $100 dollar trunks, NOT!
this writing is terrible.
Seems like they dont pay much for surfing writers these
days
I wonder if Chas is required to use the word “sexy” in
every blog post
It sounds terrable, I must be really luckey to have lived
in Asia for the last 11 years, sounds like why bother where your
all at. 7 years in Indo, get boards from Doris fins from Millesy or
Pak Hocky Have my friends bring me shit from the states to surf in
I love it. You think say boardies are expencive in SO cal? Try a
million or million 2 for a good pair in Bali. I won’t pay that shit
are you kidding. At least kids in shops are cool. Some of the girls
are of course drippingly sexy, they love my fat stack of pink Rp
100.000 notes too, hey everybody needs wax and a leash now and
then. Whats the point of hating it’s not going a way ya it’s too
bad. 50 guys at spots 3 years ago that were empty sucks, but when
its 8 ft and pumping their all hiding around the corner some where
any way soo??? I will say I was in Mitche’s Surf Shop in LJ a few
years back and everybody was just as cool as they were back in the
day. Don’t hate it blocks your mind and will only attract more
hate. P.S. For the last f&#c&ING time let AI RIP
and leave his family out of it!!!!
hmmm, yeah… i’ll just say quickly before i get into
this… i think you’re ego is getting in the way of you seeing that
the surf industry isn’t really the issue chas, you are. there might
be a ‘ thriving community of rad’ centered around dissing you but
as i’m sure you like to point out at trade shows, you’re a self
made man chasoid. your grandpa might be lame, leave mine alone you
arrogant twerp.
Nick,
I had the opportunity to work in the industry handed to me many years ago. I turned it down and have not regretted it in the least.
I have many friends who work in the industry. Some love it, some don’t. All see room for improvement but very few have the balls to be critical, particularly when they have mouths to feed in tough economic times – tough because the industry has fallen in lock step with the practices that are the dogma of the national corporate structure that has gotten us in this mess to begin with.
There are some good things about the industry, almost nothing good at all about what the pop surf media has degenerated to.
And I think all you have to do is talk to Dane about STAB.
Biased journalism does sell better but it leaves the cultural fabric eaten through with holes.
Dig deep and be more than just another moth. I dare ya’.
A lot of the companies shut down when the waves might be good or the employees go surf on lunch once in a while. I watched a company in Costa Mesa allow its employees to take “surf breaks” and everyone was “stoked.” The surf industry company doesn’t create opportunities to move ahead or provide any education for its lower workforce, but creates a culture in which laziness or “time off the clock” is the best thing that ever happened to them. A few employees had sense enough to leave. I did my time during my high school years in the summer in the warehouse with the pullers and packers.
Non-surfers wearing surf clothes: this concept irks many surf industry employees. Like all the douches on main street in HB wearing Tapout shirts, you have to wonder what would happen if they were challenged to a fight. You can see the contempt from Southern Ca pros about people from Inland areas who pay local businesses with their “uncool visits”. Its in these young pros’ blogs and videos mocking people that are not of their “it” status. Your poster children have narrow minds and the industry continues to hold itself up as some “stoke” machine. Its a machine that cranks out little douche bags who listen to punk rock and talk like uneducated beach trolls.
Yeah Jeff, an offer at being a sub rep doesn’t qualify as being handed a job in the industry.
And what is the surf industry? What is a pro surfer? About 90% of both these groups are retards. Think about it, there’s only really 10 guys in the world that you wanna watch surf. So stop writing about this and that about the “industry”… unless you’re trying to sell something, you sub rep….
Check out Mr. Personal.
By the way, that crystal ball of yours is pretty cloudy. I’d suggest a trade-in.
And way to trash people with legitimate jobs. Do you s**t on everyone who doesn’t have a job you deem worthy or as “cool” as the one you have?
Try to stay on topic. The industry isn’t going anywhere and I don’t want it to, I merely want to see it set a positive standard rather than slavishly emulate the negative ones that dominate the corporate climate. There are positive examples and I feel that these merit attention.
Your serve. Try to elevate it beyond the high school-style histrionics you seem to be limited to.
yeah – oh! i finished off a tasty Roy Roger’s, so Happy New Years.
@chas – how do you spell “retard”? to say that the surf industry “makes money selling a product” could be a bit of a stretch. i believe that it would have been safe to say that some individuals within the industry are producing rather than claiming the industry as a whole is “making it rain”. i am sure that skullcandy and slater inc. with the $10mil bonus are amongst the very few entities to walk away profitable. didn’t i read somewhere that DC is the only asset under the quiksilver umbrella that is operating in the black? when are you going to start dishing the dirt? with as much as you love yourself, i would think that you would have so much confident in your abilities at being journalistic that you wont care about the advertisers, and that you wont have to stroke them so often and focus on providing a solid product for the readers. but… you dont care about us readers. keep letting the industry tickle your tonsils, i am sure the free clothes are worth it.
This is funny. I paddled out this evening and caught a few
waves to wish 2010 goodbye. I plan on bringing in the New Year with
a few nice waves in the AM. I’m not sure what any of the crap in
this article has to do with riding waves.
couldn’t agree more yeah guy, happy new year There’s a
theory going round that Chas is actually a surf industry experiment
in artificial intelligence. Seems the big wig industry execs are
tired of subsidizing independent writers who may have annoying
things like opinions that don’t directly maximize profits. They’re
fed up with the situation and so they’ve been pumping a top secret
computer program full with millions of empty clichés, insider surf
industry rationalizations and french buffoon phrases. Seems the
program loosely referred to as the ‘chasoid’ can actually string
these together to make a semi readable surf editorial, they are
still working on a few things though. Overall coherence, aesthetic
appreciation and general human empathy still remain rudimentary or
non existent. The chosen titles also seem to be slightly
underdeveloped and child like. ‘The core is dead’ and ‘Surf
Industry Hate is Not Awesome’ are among the latest attempts. Is any
of this true? Well we don’t have to worry because the ‘chasoid’ has
already stated that it’s ‘way way uncool’ to care about conspiracy
theories. Come to think of it that seems to be the stand it takes
on just about everything except the latest marketable surf trend or
surfer which it usually declares to be ‘sexy, sexy, yeah, yeah buy
me’. oh well, garbage in, garbage out.
Barry just won.
And the industry keeps losing: dignity, readership, class, champions, profits, brain cells, and the most important thing of all… respect.
So what will they do about it?
Many good ideas out there, no good reason to continue to ignore them.
Is it possible for the industry and the surfing public at large to generate a constructive dialogue?
We’ll see…
Well Jeff, sounds like you should be hired as the new editor. Let’s hear some of these new ideas. But please….please stop using the word industry. You’re not a sub rep anymore. You’re the new editor-in-chief. So bring on the ideas that you think are ignored. And Andy’s delayed autopsy report can’t be one of them. Ohhh, that was you’re only idea. Pooh.
Keep it up Chas. I like seeing guys write in at 8 in the morning on New Years day (Barry), like you were up all night thinking of what you were gonna say. Haha. Soon these ex sub reps will stop writing in and finally spend their social security checks on a Surfer’s Journal subscription.
You’ll have to get over your attitude problem ’cause
“industry” is the proper vernacular in this context. Ideas: More
emphasis on etiquette in the lineup should be paramount. -Every
product should (and could) have, along with the stickers, tags, and
mini DVD’s, a mini booklet on the basics of surf etiquette. I
brought this up with Evan Slater who thought it was a great idea.
Last I ever heard of that. -Web casts should include the top pros
doing PSAs on etiquette and environmental issues that directly
impact us all. Surfing created the industry, NOT the other way
’round and the industry needs to start taking stock of this fact.
-Competition needs to more accurately reflect the proper etiquette.
Far too many people new to surfing think that the hassling that
goes down in events is the proper way to get waves. Fortunately
that ignorance will still get you beat down in Hawaii – and
possibly killed in Brazil. That’s a start and if you could get over
yourself long enough perhaps you could contribute some intelligent
dialogue. Can you?
nah not even nick, there is this invention called the internet. it means i don’t have to be in the same country as you to participate in the discussion so actually for me was around 3:30pm or something. nice try genius, i can see why you and chas get along.
Ok, so 3:30pm your time translates to 8:02am here. What time zone are you in that works in 1/2 hour increments????? Douche.
And Jeff, you took the reigns of Surfing Magazine and you want to do an issue on etiquette? Really? Your 4 ideas you had are all on the same topic of etiquette? Why don’t you just buy Matt Warshaw’s latest book. Because no one wants to read an issue about that crap. And that leads me to a great question. Are there any other magazines that you read? Because there are quite a lot of them these days. And each magazine has it’s own target audience. I’ll break it down for you. TW surf = under 12 years old. SURFING = 12-35 years old. SURFER = 35-60. SURFERS PATH (this is a good one for you) = Older folk who care about the environment more than a good looking magazine. THE SURFERS JOURNAL = anyone past puberty who likes looking at a more or less ad free quality production
So Mr. Editor-in-chief, do you think most 12-35 years olds want to read a magazine about etiquette? The answer is no. Sorry to point that out. So I’m pretty sure you’re not under 35. And if you are, my god, you need some help. Etiquette????………….Really?
Ahhh Nick…
Apparently you have nothing. Just a huge ego, no ideas of any kind, and a mouth with a pair of ears that love to hear the gums below flap away with tired and overused epithets that can be seen regurgitated on hate-fueled forums all over the virtual universe.
You have two sphincters. Shame you’re better at talking out of the one between your thighs than the one under your nose.
The timeless test is put to you: spend the rest of your life a worn out cliche who chooses to continue to be a part of the problem or actually demonstrate a willingness to contribute to the solution.
It takes real balls to make a positive difference in this world. Try growing a pair.
Til then I won’t be wasting anymore time with you. Grow up and sack up.
Nick they usually moderate it before it gets posted which is what i was talking about, being hungover i didn’t really remember or care beyond the fact that you forgot timezones were even relevant. let’s try to stay on point otherwise it’s just a bunch of name calling nonsense. i hope Chas appreciates you having his back but i seriously doubt it.
What the hell is going on with surf mags these days? Anyone
remember how ASL used to be? Totally hilarious articles by writers
you could like and even admire. If you ever got the feeling you
were reading bs at least it was funny bs and you didn’t feel like
the journo was made of it. You need a talented crew to make a mag
genuinely funny. Great photos yeah but also the stories behind
them. It made surfing an adventure not a photo shoot. No precious
profiles, positive mostly yeah but not sycophantic and at least
balanced if they were critical. What have you got today? Guys that
have to apologize for almost every profile they do. Oh hey they
apologized but nobody really bothers with that and the main thing
is they got the attention they wanted. Kind of a journalistic
brinkmanship and the thing is it flies these days, people accept
it. Shock tactics, victims of totalitarian regimes mocked as
proxies for fellow journalists. What the hell is this? Petty,
pathetic, exploitative and in my opinion totally indefensible. I
don’t need to know the all the details of a pro surfers life, there
are plenty of tabloids, that’s not my issue but I don’t like
feeling like I got spun a line either. I’ve never been embarrassed
to be a surfer but the way things are going… Oh, and bye the way
we are special, surfing has always been special. If you don’t feel
that what the hell are you here for. We don’t go to the mainstream,
the mainstream comes to us and if not we do our own thing because
we’re the ones tapped into the source.
For the string of commenters, the following article is worth reading: http://www.theinertia.com/business-media/surf-media-living-the-dream/ and it seems like constructive alternatives are bubbling up all over the place…But think about how you’d react if you were in Mr. Smith’s position. Your profession is under fire from the public…do you join in the bashing, or do you try to defend yourself? Not that it’s the right thing, but it’s instinctive and understandable that these fellas want to defend themselves and their trade. They’re not evil incarnate, but it takes a big person to reveal their faults – it’s a lot easier to lash back, but Mr. Smith and his cohort at Surfing Magazine have very clearly chosen their response – hopefully they’ll use their wit for better soon
That said – I’m still trying to figure out why Smith wrote
a response to Tim Baker’s article three years after he wrote it.
Imagine featuring a response to this article on the homepage of
Surfing Magazine in January of 2014…it makes no sense…and it
would mean that this article was actually very good if it were
still relevant then.
My name is tim baker but sometimes I go by the funny name
Cheesea Sandwich.
@Cheesesandwhich – - The Tim Baker thing is a witch hunt
started by Jed, and followed up by Chas, Reilly and that creep who
edits -ING magazine, to distance themselves from the ‘old guard’ of
surf journalism. Part of the reason they’re publicly defaming a
decent, hard working family man (apart from the fact that he’s just
that – ie not a coke-deluded faker obsessed with being ‘cool’, like
they are) is because, they say, he and his fellow surf journalists
of the ’80s and ’90s were complicit in making the surf media crap.
Apparently they were so close to the industry that all they did was
write fluff stories on the industry’s behalf in return for free
trips, free clothes, access into the inner circle (jerk) of the
famous names and the rag trade magnates who back them. These guys
are now using every chance they get to publicly humiliate Tim Baker
for his career as a sycophantic insider who failed to report the
real secrets of the industry (you mean KEPT QUIET on the Sarge
story?!). Now … stop and think for a moment. Chas, Reilly and the
others are absolutely IN LOVE with Andy Irons and his hard-partying
crew. Why? Maybe because they all shared a passionate love of the
type of narcotics that make you think you’re better than everyone
else and basically turn you into an arrogant prick. Of course when
AI died in mysterious circumstances, who did we see questioning the
flimsy story woven around his death (dengue??)? Certainly not the
brave, independent-minded, anti-Tim-Baker and fluff journalism crew
of Smith, Smith, Reilly and that drip who edited Surfing magazine.
No, they circled the wagons, kept a tight lip on the real story and
have now (along with Billabong etc) set about re-writing the AI
tragedy as a myth for the ages – apparently AI was actually some
kind of a saint! (I can live with the over-egged myth of Eddie
Aikau because it has depth beyond surfing. It relates to Hawaii and
it’s tragic history, it highlights his bravery and selflessness etc
etc etc. AI? Super talented surfer, screwed up character. Does it
go any deeper than that?) Don’t look for honesty or consistency in
these guys. They’re all about ego. Their superiority is
unquestionable. Normal people, with more humble, regular lives are
just the shit they step over to get into the VIP section. My
question is: If Tim Baker and his crew were bad, how will these
guys be remembered?
AI is gone and surfing is the poorer for it, i always hoped he’d give slater another title race, now that avenue in time is blocked forever
Thank you Punkawalla
The inconsistency is more perplexing. A few years ago, the Stab crew – especially Smith – was likening the surf industry to Nazi Germany. Was that “cool” then? And now the same folks who made a reputation for themselves by denouncing the surf industry are adamant defendants of its practices. Why and how did that happen? Seriously. Why the 180, Mr. Smith?
Hey Chas, you remember writing this in your response to Mick?
“It was a story because it happened and because it is rare in this surf industry to find anything real. If nobody ever tells a true story what is the point? What is the point?”
The problem doesn’t lie with all surf journalists, just the ones that don’t actually mean anything they say.
http://blog.demonfactory.com/2010/03/25/chas-mick/
Why is it that the majority of the folks who comment, read, or curate editoral about the world of Surfing don’t really surf……. Stop hating you bitch ass cunts and let the one thing that makes us happy in life thrive…..