Glory Days At The Vans US Open Of Surfing

SURFING Magazine has decided to see, experience and cover the 2014 Vans US Open of Surfing with the hazelnut eyes of a bro. See the first chunk of coverage here.

Where did we leave off? Oh that’s right, I was dancing with the chick. She turned out to be kind of whack. Todd knew her and said she had a kid; I’m super not down with that. Total vibe killer when I’m trying to get my grind on. So we finished the Rumarade [that’s rum mixed with Gatorade] and bailed on the beach. It was Miller time.

Todd, Zach and I longboarded to a CVS and picked up some Miller Lites. We went back to the Saturn to drink them and freshen up with more Axe body spray. The scent was called “Cool Metal” and I was pretty into that. Cool Metal, just like me — fucking steel, bro. This company called Globe was premiering their surfing movie and there would probably be some chicks there, right? Only one way to find out. We jumped in the Sats and cruised it to Long Beach. There were totally chicks there. Everybody was saying that all the best surfers in the world were there too but I was like yooo where’s Kelly Slater at? The surfing movie was crip.

After that, we went back to HB and kicked it. I had probably a million Millers. I was talking to this one chick for a while but she had to bail because she was driving up to a Wiz Khalifa concert in the morning. I was jealous. Eventually, me and the boys Ubered back to Tustin. Tustin’s pretty sick.

We watched a ton of surfing the next two days. We would get there super early and secure a dank spot on the beach. We stayed pretty close to the pier so we could bring babes under the pier and make out with them, but only Todd pulled. Todd’s got this hair that the girls all love — it’s flipped in the front — and his earring helps too. Kid cleans up. This dude named Matt Bintang was cleaning up too. He was in both the Pro division and the Pro Jurors (couldn’t figure out why they called it that) and winning like all the time. Filipe Toledo was dope too. I think he was from Mexico. Jordy Smith was good too, but his hair wasn’t as nice as Todd’s. Whatever.

Tomorrow’s the final day I think. Just checked my watch and guess what? It’s Miller time, haha! I’ll let you guys know how my night goes. Peace. —Kearny Mesa