Elevens: 11 Predictions for 2010

posted by / News / January 30, 2011

 


Elevens is a series of posts devoted to this smashing new year of ours.

We dispatched our crack team of surf pundits to suss out a preview of the months ahead. Today, we offer 11 predictions for 2010, the year that just ended — because hey, guessing the future is hard — as well as some notes on how we did.

 

 


 

This is obviously Kelly winning number 10 at Middles in Puerto Rico. This is the front line, as heavy as it's ever been.

 

1 Kelly Slater will win his 10th…and, somehow, 11th…world titles.

 

We maintain that this seemed like a safe bet at the time. Half credit. (Photo: Sherm)

 


 

 

2 A pro surfer will finally tweet something worth reading.

 

Haha, idiots RT @surfingmagazine: A pro surfer will tweet something worth reading. #shittypredictions

 


 

3 Still — still — nobody will pull a legit kickflip.

 

But God, why would you want to?

 


 

 

4 Greg Long will ride a 100-foot wave.

 

Well…sure. Hell yes, count it. What? Hawaii calls an eight-foot wave “four feet” and everyone just lets that go. We should be able to round Greg’s 40-foot rides up to an even hundred, right? Greg — you done it. Good show. Don’t let anyone say you didn’t. (Photo: Taras)

 


 

 

5 Industry consolidation: Quiksilver, O’Neill and Rip Curl will merge to buy a controlling interest in Volcom, which will stage a hostile takeover of Billabong (new owner of RVCA), and then the whole bundle will be acquired by Hurley (a Nike subsidiary since 2002). The newly formed conglomerate will be called “Nike.”

 

No credit, but you just wait.

 


 

 

6 Standup paddle surfing will crawl back to the public park men’s room whence it came. It certainly won’t spawn professional contests, multiple magazine titles, and its own devoted cottage industry.

 

Shit. What we meant was, “Standup is so the thing.” (Photo: Flindt)

 


 

 

7 A Brazilian will win at Sunset Beach and a European will win the Pipe Masters.

 

What, nobody else guessed that?

 


 

8 Andy Irons won’t die of a drug overdose.

 

Still TBD — but almost three months later, this silence is starting to get pretty loud. If you type simply “how did” into Google, it auto-suggests the query “how did Andy Irons die,” ahead of “how did Bob Marley die” and “how did Bruce Lee die.”

 


 

9 Dane Reynolds will win Innersection.

 

Does it really matter that he didn’t enter? We think it doesn’t.

 


 

 

10 Pipeline will be firing after the Triple Crown ends.

 

Jack O’Neill could have seen this coming, and brutha’s 88 this year — and he only has one eye. But hey, maybe this is just Hawaii’s new program. Maybe it’s how nature rewards locals for sticking around after the six-week circus season ends. Just check how hard the Da Hui Backdoor Shootout scored, or see the above highlights from last week’s Volcom Pipeline Pro. Both are far cries from the Pipe-less Masters.

 


 

 

11 Source Interlink Media, the corporate parent of both SURFING and Surfer Magazines, will combine the competing titles into a single publication called “Surfering.”

 

We watch for that email every day…but hey, we’re ready to put up a fight for the name “SURFINGer.”

 


 

Results: 4.5/11 (with the help of some creative score-keeping). That’s 41% — or an A+ in homeschool. Yay, us!

 

 

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4 Responses to “Elevens: 11 Predictions for 2010”

  1. john says:

    Prediction #234; SURFING magazine will print a cover depicting Evan Geiselman doing a 2 ft air on a 2 ft wave… HOLY SHIT!!! i nailed it one head!! wow!!! im a regular Nostradamus. money talks

  2. rgc says:

    I think #5 already happened (we just havent heard about it), number #8 is f-ing gnarly-but true, and half the innersection clips put me to sleep so i think Taylor should pay everbody who purchased and watched that pile of dung instead of awarding a winner. As far as the Evan cover, even you guys cant pass up a chance to suck on the balls of all the sponsors that have their logos attached to Evans flying billboard– even if it is a 1 foot air on a 2 foot wave with a “decent” backdrop.

  3. yeah guy says:

    Source Interlink Media, the corporate parent of both SURFING and Surfer Magazines, will combine the competing titles into a single publication called “Surfering.”

    more like “suffering”

  4. Kimo says:

    How about predictions for 2012.
    We will find out that A.I.’s death was a suicide and Billabong his sponsor did all they could to stop it from happening including treatment. Also the surf media will have a new competitor to deal with that reports on the surf industry, issues, and surfers with truth and integrity instead of in the interest of advertising dollars so that we can look up to real heroes that surf.

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