Floating On at the Billabong Rio Pro

- Shares

Below is a reader’s letter received by email this morning during the tail end of the Billabong Rio Pro. It seems to sum up most onlookers’ feelings on the day’s scoring.

 

HELLO,

ISN’T ANYBODY FLABBERGASTED BY THIS 8.23 FLOATER THAT ADRIANO DID IN HIS HEAT (AT 0:35) TO BEAT OWEN’S TURNS AND SPINS AND GRABS AND BRAZZO CLAIMS, ALL OF WHICH WERE OF BETTER QUALITY AND VARIETY?!?! I AM VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW AND WILL BE PASSING OUT DETENTIONS TO ALL MY STUDENTS AND WRITING ALL EMAILS WITH CAPITAL LETTERS TODAY TO EXPRESS MY ANGER AND PASSIVE AGGRESSION AND FRUSTRATION WITH THE ASP JUDGES PANEL. OWEN SHOULD’VE THROWN HIS SURFBOARD THROUGH THE FUCKEN PLEXIGLASS JUDGES WINDOW AND FUCKED ALL THEIR WIVES SAMBA STYLE ON THE SAND AFTER THAT HEAT, COMPLETELY WARRANTED.

FOREVER YOURS,
BLACK JACK

P.S. I AM IN NO WAY UPSET WITH ADRIANO. I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM AND ALL OF HIS TINY LATIN MAN PASSION. AND I HOPE TO HANG OUT WITH A BRAZILIAN GIRL AND DRINK CAPARINHAS AT WOODY’S THIS WEEKEND.

 

The comments thread on the Heats on Demand page is alive with similar, though less entertaining, discussion.

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