Jimmicane’s Passion Picks: France

posted by / News / October 4, 2011


First of all I want to let you people know that you should be using fantasyactionsportsleague.com instead of Fantasy Surfer. Why waste your time with FS when it’s a piece of garbage and you don’t even know what you’re playing for? This is what it says on Fantasy Surfer’s website:

Grand Prize - TBA
Grand Prize is determined by the top 7 scores of the 2011 season on the men’s side of Fantasy Surfer, this excludes all women’s events. Skybox prizes depend entirely on which brands are participating and what prize that brand chooses to offer.

I know a guy who won it one year and, although the promised prize was an all-expenses-paid trip to Indo, he ended up netting a wetsuit. Now is that bullshit or what?

Those of you who take these fantasy shenanigans seriously (and I know many of you do) are blowing it if you aren’t on fantasyactionsportsleague.com. Each event you can pay $10 and if you win, you pocket a clean $1000. If you even make the top 10 you make money. That sounds a lot better than wasting your time all year to get a goddamn full-suit. Me personally, I don’t take this seriously at all and I play in the free league because I know it’d be a miracle if I placed. I just pick the people I feel like picking and give you sometimes-ridiculous reasons for why I do, but also sometimes secret insider info that you all love. Here we go for France! —Jimmicane

Passion Picks for the 2011 Quiksilver Pro France:

Expect plenty more bottles of this to be popped by this man.

Kelly Slater

You already know I’m riding with the bald king for the rest of 2011. Kelly will not be denied his 11th crown. Although he no longer strikes fear in his competitors’ hearts, which is the first sign of a downfall, he still is unstoppable for at least this year. Owen, Jordy, Julian, Adriano – these guys are not fucking around anymore. That crew wants to beat Slater badly and aren’t scared to give it a go. They just aren’t quite polished (or in some cases good) enough to do it consistently. One annoying commentator mentioned during Lowers that Kelly must have “climbed the Fountain of Youth.” I’m guessing he meant to say drank from the Fountain of Youth but then again, why not climb the thing instead? It seems to have worked.

Julian may look like he’s in the valley of despair right here, but he certainly isn’t when it comes to the WT.

Julian Wilson

How can you not be impressed with J. Wilson? It’s his first year on tour and so far he’s fared better than anyone who’s come before him with the same amount of hype. Maybe Jordy, Dane, and Dusty set the scales of expectation so low that they left Jules without any pressure from the public to succeed right away. Already the stage doesn’t look too big for him. He’ll even go run up after a heat and talk shit straight to the judges for falling into the old mode of scoring length of ride and other such should-be-extinct criteria.

Josh Kerr

This is just a pure case of playing the hot hand. Every other year he’s been on tour you could lock Kerr in for a near-last-place result. He was a consistent underachiever who looked like he was straining to push the innovation envelope for the sake of self-pride and backing up claims. Finally, though, he’s settled into his assigned seat in the top 10. I don’t see him reverting back in the beachbreaks of France.

Gabriel Medina

It was three years ago to the month that the world first laid eyes on 15-year-old Gabriel Medina. He executed a beat-down of epic proportions at the Quiksilver King of the Groms championships in Hossegor. Just embarrassing fools all the way to the final, where he dropped the 20-point bomb. Perfect heat. The Hobgoods’ blog (very popular at the time) was the place most of us noticed what he’d done. Superman airs back then were still lame, but not as stupid as they are now, so I can’t blame a 15-year-old for utilizing them. I hope he doesn’t go that route in this event, but I do expect him to make some noise and wreck some WT dinosaurs’ dreams.

Dan Ross

This is where Passion Picks reverts back to its old self: picking people who aren’t necessarily going to do well but instead people I feel deserve some love. Dan Ross gives it hell. I would like to extend an invitation for Dan Ross to join #teamgivinithell. He certainly fits our profile of giving it all you got, all the time. At least from what I can see. Who else on tour is actively thinking about their future in life? Seemingly only Dan Ross. This man is already into coaching girls like Sally Fitzgibbons, as well as continuing to keep pace at the bottom half of the WT cutting board. Haters can hate, but the bottom line is $7k for last place in a WT event. Why not ride that out ‘til the sun don’t shine? I’m feeling a karmic result for the Danimal here in France. Round 3 here Dan comes!

Dusty Payne

Give me something here, Dusty! I’ve vouched for you all year and it hasn’t really panned out. Starring in Lost Atlas was cool, but winning an event would be cooler, and would make your pockets way fatter. Give it hell!

Miguel Pupo

I was skeptical about this kid’s surfing as a whole package until recently. I know he has the airs and can post a score on any piece of water that moves, but I wasn’t really aware of his ability to rack real rail turns until I saw him in the Azores Prime event. This blame can be mostly put on sponsors. Watching contests is not enough. We as fans need to see freesurf footage to properly form our opinions. Please Hurley, put Miguel on a non-contest trip. Put me on that trip to photograph.

I’m gonna do a slideshow — it’s called “Dane With Beer in Hand”. It’s a two-hour showing. Each photo flashes for three seconds.

Dane Reynolds

Dane’s back for real this time. No injuries. He says he’s a go and check it out, he’s only $4 million off your fantasy budget. Will Dane make some heats? Who knows, but I can tell you from the sequences I saw of his recent trip to Japan, which in the digital days is like watching every wave on slo-mo video, Dane is surfing better than ever. Just wait till you see our next issue. He goes HAM.

Tune in to the Quik Pro France live here: http://quiksilverlive.com/profrance2011/liveHD.en.html

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10 Responses to “Jimmicane’s Passion Picks: France”

  1. Seb says:

    Dear Dane,
    If you come back everyone will be happy.
    Except for you maybe, but I hope not.

    Kind regards,
    Pretty much everyone

  2. anon post #13,467 says:

    why bother with the picks?
    its like throwing darts on the wall and hoping two stick and then claiming .”yeah, yeah… look at me… i somehow figured it all out.

    well, based on how most guys do in europe, all your picks will be off again.

    it will be parko, taj, ace, mick, etc…
    —> someone that meet beach break power/ pull in/ commit to a turn/ do a reverse at the end … repeat

  3. BoardRecycler.com says:

    Fantasyactionsportsleague.com puts fantasysurfer to shame. Better game, clear rules, and infinitely better prizes. Do yourselves a favor if you’re still on that has been game FS, move over to FASL.

  4. Hank says:

    Yes, all 5 of you that read this website should hop on over to that other fantasy site because some beer-swilling, dumbass that picks Gabe Kling for every event told you to.

  5. jsamuels says:

    Jimmy, you leaving surfing with the rest of the Surfing Mgmt staff? Just saw the thing on TWbiz about everyone leaving… what’s going on, what’s next. It’s no secret that no one’s been happy there for quite a while since the whole thing got moved into the big office.

    Whats the happs?

  6. bojangles says:

    what about charlie kuhn?

  7. Jimmicane says:

    Nah, I’m not leaving and I like our office. Only thing I don’t like is we don’t get Goldfish anymore and as yall know i’m slightly overweight so I love Goldfish, but then again who doesn’t?

  8. Jimmicane says:

    Oh yeah and to Ray there (Hank), you should know the numbers. Although I’d have to say the website is slightly better than when you were here, so maybe 10 people read this now.

  9. Exit 98 says:

    re: jsamuels / tws reported rumor: they may as well hire chas smith as editor now and completey run the good ship ‘ing onto the reef of no return. somewhere, in their most thoughts, evan slater and matt walker are thanking their respective good fortunes for getting out at the time the once great surf pub was hitting it’s highest notes. the collapse of this magazines writing / editorial department ( sans the photo dept., it’s only saving grace now ) from that pinnacle of excellence has been stunning, shocking and sad to see. yep, put chas in charge and let’s get this thing over with and get back to a two magazine party or ‘fer and tws …

  10. TC says:

    Jimmy, I hear the boys down in mexico really love you. They can’t wait to see you.

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