Letter of the Week

posted by / News / August 16, 2010


LOTW runs for seven days, with the week’s most brilliant submissions picked and posted every Monday on surfingmagazine.com. There are two ways to write in: send an email to surfing@sorc.com, or use the Write a Letter tab on our Facebook page.


Surfers. We are tolerant and groovy, right? We judge not? We can hang with any crew, and any crew with us?


Letter of the Week: Tasting the Rainbow
Last week I got called a fag at Lowers, on the walking path down to the beach, and I think I need your help.

It was warm and sunny compared to how it’s been (grey and cold), plus everyone who would usually be clogging Lowers like a toilet was in C—tington Beach for the shitshow [Note: We think he means the US Open], so I was happy and decided to trunk it. I wore my Insight trunks that are too high above the knee for East Germany, I mean San Clemente, and a Matuse jacket, and I was riding a keel fin fish that I shaped myself without a Skil planer — just a Sureform and sandpaper and a hand planer for the stringer. My friend set the fins and glassed the board. It’s not perfect but it works alright and it has absolutely zero logos on it. The board is short like my trunks, and wide, and not an Al Merrick or Lost or Patterson board, and I think all those factors resulted in my being called a fag.

Two guys who looked like Kolohe Andino impersonators rode by on skateboards and between my board, trunks and beard/mustache combo I guess they didn’t like how I looked. I had no New Era hat or anything, so I’m a fag. I shape my own board, so I’m a fag. I surf by myself, so fag. I want you to please send me whatever boring mass-produced clothes and surfboards I need to be “sick” and not a fag anymore. Thanks for helping out.

—Jeff the fag


You say fag like it’s a bad thing, Jeff.



A man who knows all too well the sting of ignorant rage is Alex Knost, whose style on both water and land draws similar hick criticism. Alex cares not! The hate rolls off him like water off a duck’s back. Maybe with this pair of his signature Vans shoes — and a bonus pair of Vans x Rick Griffin collabs — the hate will roll off of Jeff, too.

We think you're just fine, Jeff — better even — and so does Vans.

We think you're just fine, Jeff — better even — and so does Vans.


This week’s LOTW has a massive prize in store from Futures. We’ll give you a hint: it’s fins. Keep writing, friends.

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  • Adam

    Don’t worry Jeff, everybody that surfs down there is a fag now. I’m pretty sure 90% of the lineup is just out there to hug wardo’s nuts or perv on Kolohe. Looking up there from middles this morning there were about 30 guys in the water and two taking waves, one of which was wearing his signature yellow wetsuit. Way to get attention with a kneeboard and some plum smugglers.

  • Mr Amazing

    I would have called you a fag to

  • Steve T

    Jeff Mo?

  • Rob C

    Fagle. Please do not return anytime soon. For all the rest of y’all, don’t bother either. We’ll be sure to make the experience even less enjoyable.

  • Gay Ripper

    Everyone who surfs Lowers is a kook trying to prove to all the other kooks that they are a little less of a kook than them. But in the end, you’re still a kook.

  • smugged

    thats why we all love surf camps..they teach you how to kook out and then pollute our breaks with numtees who only want Volcom and Hurley on thier backs…fortunately the tides are changin’ 80’s shades and sisters pants are gona be gone..all white boards will comeback,the hairdos will get longer and all the kookery klowns who even take time to talk to anybody in a nego tude will get punched again….REGULATE and if you are really bummed follow the guy and shit in his backpack after he paddles out at barbed wire kook town…GAF is FAG backwards..go GAF some lips!

  • Carr

    @smugged. Racecar backwards is racecar. vroom.

  • EB&D

    @Gay Ripper: Amen to that, brother

  • EB&D

    @Rob C: Your children will come out to you soon enough. Enjoy that.

  • Alex K.

    Jeff, you sound like a walking hippie/hipster surfer stereotype, so you might deserve some sort of headsup. I support shaping your own board but the rest is just hippie trend stuff that’s the same MASS PRODUCED CLOTHES you are making fun of. Check yo self

  • Heater

    Jeff, I know the busters your talking about. If your ballsy, come up to Newland HB,, we suft naked @ sunset: all the Faguins love it

  • Mako_ltd

    Off Topic; DigYaJeff.. If you missed it, 618 Directv Fuel/HD @ 7am tomarrow has the ASP Billabong Pro from Catarina Brazil. Jeff, watch these guys and you’ll always be cool’R than us.
    (:P BroSoverBraS….

  • Evans

    Those shoes will probably make you gayer if anything. Send them to me I don’t care. Sticks and stones…

  • Mikey R

    Yeah well San Clemente is pretty low down dirty, it’s not surprising that the jerks are running the show. Take one look around the town and you’ll see why there’s so many freeway onramps…so you can get the heck out! If only Lowers were in Santa Barbara

  • nic-nak the girl surfer

    All the guys out at Lowers these days make my stomach turn at just the sight of them. Then they open their mouths, to *prove* to me just how *sick* and righteous they are, an endless amount of ignorance pours out like sewage from a broken septic tank, causing my entire body to shutter in disgust. And most of the time when they are REALLY showing me how *cool* they are, I vomit a little in my mouth.
    Yes, the true culture of surfing has been lost in today’s era. Instead, we are left with logos, sponsorships, big fake checks, and human billboards (seriously, Andy Irons, could you possibly wear any more Billabong insignia?? I think not… but I’m sure he’ll try anyway…)

    Are there any soul-surfers left in California?
    If you find one, give him my number.

    ps– I bet Jeff is hot.

  • nic-nak the girl surfer

    @Gay Ripper:
    I like your style

    one proud Cardiff Kook