Baby, Take it Off! is Chas Smith’s column. “Surfing is so totally awesome sexy!” says Chas.
Welcome, Nike!
Totally welcome! It’s great to see you, hot little thing. You sensual publicly traded darling.
Nike, with other non-endemic corporations, has been milling about our surf industry for some time now. It signed the young and fabulous Kolohe Andino a few years-ish back and it signed the slightly older but just as fabulous Julian Wilson, like, yesterday. And, again, welcome!
Some of surfing’s active online community really don’t like the intrusion. They have simply had enough. “This isn’t a reflection of ME anymore!” they scream from their mothers’ basements as they forcefully dip Domino’s buffalo wings into ranch dressing. “I hate this commercialization of MY pastime! Nike doesn’t tap the source!” (As they write certified letters of complaint to the Home Shopping Network and dream about retirement). But Nike is such a glorious and welcome fit.
A diversified and competitive marketplace always equals a better product. Nike brings billions of dollars plus scientists plus Chinese manufacturing plus Mars Blackmon plus billions of dollars straight into our world. They’ll make better things. And they’ll make Quiksilver et. al. make better things too. Win win for me! Win win for you (if you don’t live in mother’s basement) (If you aren’t completely atrophied) (If you aren’t posting your tres radical opinions underneath online articles).
Competition in the marketplace is the very breath of innovation and innovation is fun! Innovation led to the modern thruster, to the wetsuit, to slob grabs, to skinnier jeans. Innovation will lead to a little bit wider but better cut jeans (super skinny is out out out!). It will lead to new materials/processes/ideas that make riding a wave even more pleasurable. Innovation. Yeah!
Also, Nike brings a fresh perspective. As a company, she wasn’t born from surf like the rest of our noble brands. She born from track ‘n field, which ain’t so cool but that’s ok. Nike has proven over time, and through numerous sporting world conquests, to have a knack for awesome. I remember the first pair of Air Jordans I bought. Wow! That leather! Those see-through air pockets! Wow wow! Not being genetically attached to certain inalienable surfer rights gives Nike the ability to push further. To question the whys and wherefores. To innovate! Sacred cows be damned! Yeah! Wow! I trust Nike to bring the wow to surfing. And I hope under the Nike moniker, not the misguided 6.0 one. I am not a fan of fluoro orange.
Also also, in retaliation for Nike’s definite and full entrance in our surf world, some fresh Newport Beach nouveau punk children will form up an exciting brand and make the best outfits ever. Or Lost will rediscover its former glory and make the best contra campaign ever. Win win win win win!
So bienvenue, you goddess of victory. You divine and sultry pillar of American might. Welcome and may your run be long and profitable.
Allez au diable vous les communistes et les croyants dans l’égalitarisme internet!
Btw, I write these words from the St. Regis, San Francisco. Modern, blonde, supple, luxurious. My gorgeous woman is here watching a BBC James Bond marathon. I am drinking the dirtiest martini. San Francisco…what a town! What a life! —Chas Smith
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Surf Industry Hate is Not Awesome
posted by Chas Smith / Blogs, Editorial / December 30, 2010
It is quite trendy to really loathe the surf industry. Lame!
Gee, well it’s lucky Chas is too cool to care about conspiracy theories then. If you’re not Chas you might as well be, only a hick or industry zombie would get excited by the inclusion of Nike anyway. The type of guy that leaves little quotations in French labeling people communists because he’s ashamed of where he comes from. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
I’m not american btw, i just can’t stand ignorant little twerps like you with stars in their eyes getting in line to slag people off because it looks like there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yeah right mate, you’re here for the debate. You couldn’t debate weather to have milk on your corn flakes or not.
@Sammy – “Fuck this shit anyway, I ain’t getting drawn into
some stupid shit slinging match with an online arsehole.” – Sammy
…too late. Boy can Barry push the buttons and all you idiots get
sucked in and HE LOVES IT. barry too can be over the top, but hes
just playing devil’s advocate. i know that guy rides the latest CI,
with the newest cypher quik wettie that plugs into your cigarette
lighter, and wears the latest jordy hyper nipples boardshort, and
has all the sweet iphone surfing apps, blah blah blah. Barry, for
sure, supports his local shop. it is quite funny, because the way i
see it is that these people agree with Chas at 1st glance, then
they start to read the comments and then reread Chas’ post and
realize how stupid the thing really is. then, it dawns on them,
like pissing on the floor in the middle of the night when you miss
the toilet, that you look like an idiot. but at that point its too
late, you just have to roll with it and you then turn and start to
piss in the bath tub and figure you can just clean it up in the
morning. but it doesnt work like that, because you already posted
your “speak before thinking” comments on the world wide web. this
then causes you to continue to make yourself look like you still
agree with Chas. because you already look like a moron. @Sammy – of
course you like Chas’ crap writing, you occasionally work for the
surf industry. it is like being part of a secret society. you
know!!!! therefore you are forced to stand behind it and play the
role, like that patagonia owner that claims that he still is
wearing the same shirt since 1912 or some crap like that. right!?
the owner of an clothing/outer wear company that relies on people
buying new clothes, doesn’t have any new clothes himself? …how is
it so hard to believe that Chas and the rest of surf media (all
media in fact) are not getting their kick backs? i have a feeling
that their will be quite the nike 6.0/julian ad/spread in the next
issue of surfing. the ones that pay the advertising get the
“editorial” (i put it in quotes because it is not really an
editorial when someone is conveying a bias opinion, at which point
it becomes an “adv-itorial” (which is an advertisment that is made
to look like an editorial. are you getting all this)). All i want
is someone to write a legit, honest article, write the dirt, the
truth, when a surf movie blows, tell me before i waste the money to
buy it and discover on my own. if a matuse wetsuit falls apart,
tell us before we drop $400+. if there is real dirt and the
industry is not what it seems, tell us. stop painting a picture of
what we expect and start delivering the truth. but no one will,
why? because the are scared of what will come back to bite them.
look at Jeff, someone asked him what he would put in the mag if he
was editor and he honestly replied, etiquette, and he was rake over
the coals for it, then he took his ball and went home. at the end
of the day, as readers, all we are left with is this lame excuse
for a smoke in mirrors/pony show magazine by Chas and the rest of
the clowns falling out of the car. @Chas – when can we expect your
next post?
Not sure who this chas dude is, but I can’t see any really hard core surfer welcoming Nike. Nike wants only thing from you, and that’s your money. I really think nike could care less about the surf lifestyle and why we live it. If Chas wants to sell his (surfing) soul, that’s up to him, I think he already has. Tony Carson Big Island
and while were at it, what really hard core surfer, (worth his salt), would wear a ‘hurley’ tee, a company started by some half baked shaper from Huntington Beach, and which is now ‘owned’ by nike, (a shoe company). How soulful is that? I guess some guys,
[like this chase dude) can rationalize almost anything.