Donald Trump has most likely never stepped foot on a surfboard. If he has, it was probably for some publicity stunt in Waikiki or some bullshit for a new hotel opening. He was probably wearing a life vest.
Fergal Smith, on the other hand, doesn’t wear a life vest – which is even more impressive because Fergal Smith is from Ireland and frequents a very, very scary wave called Mullaghmore, along with an assortment of other unwelcoming slabs. And now, the hellbent goofy-footer is throwing his hat into his country’s 2016 General Election on behalf of the Green Party. He’s far more qualified than Donald Trump to lead a country and has a much larger quiver. He stands for the land of his country. For keeping things pristine for generations to come. He talks of solving problems today so that the little Irish lads of tomorrow won’t be left with a barren, potatoeless, countryside. He means well, and we whole-heartedly believe it.
So if you somehow wiggle your way into Irish citizenship and stumble across a ballot this voting season, vote Fergal.
Here’s Fergs charging around his home turf.