The funniest thing about sleeping on people’s couches is how you wake up every morning. It’s never the same. Sometimes it’s someone screaming about the waves. Or someone making coffee. Or the smoke alarm. Or, like today at the Matix house where I’ve so kindly been put up for a few nights, it’s Micah Byrne turning on the garbage disposal instead of the kitchen light, startling my dreaming ass right up.
“Hey Micah. Yeah, good to see you, too.” OK, I’m up, I’m up. I then groggily made it to my feet, whiffed some Kona blend coffee, looked out the window, watched Dean Morrison get blown out of a dawn patrol pit at Backdoor and then wandered to the bathroom to take a piss…well I took a piss once Gabe Kling woke up, because the bathroom is in his room, but then I pissed. I hope my snoring didn’t keep him up.
And this is pretty standard operating procedure for the couch tour it seems. But I’ll tell you, after two days of my couch tour of duty, I’ve already found that this is the way to do the North Shore. No safe havens. No comfort zones. It’s just me and the North Shore hanging out for two weeks. For example: yesterday, my first day on the rock. Check out how much I got in:
I woke up and went to Starbucks. Sorry, it was my first day and I didn’t know where else to go. There, I ran into Tiago Pires and chatted about Pipe and his injured back. Apparently, Tiago is a little torn because if he can manage to requalify through the ‘CT, then he won’t need his WQS points, which would allow his fellow Portuguese countryman (well, he’s German but he resides in Portugal) Marlon Lipke to qualify. Only problem is Tiago’s back is hurt. “I’m going to see some doctors today, and then just hoping I can surf when the time comes for my heat,” he said. “We’ll see.”
I then went surfing at Pipe. OK, it was Gums, but I told my mom it was Pipe. Whatever, same area. I watched John John get a screamer at Backdoor (probably the wave of the day) holding a Go Pro water camera in his hand. “It’s pretty hard to duckdive, but I been getting some sick shots.” He told me, as he out duck dove me with the camera in his hand.
I then came in and somehow ended up in a full fledged tackle football scrimmage before Monday Night Football came on with Brian Toth, Zander Morton and Ricky Whitlock. I won, but got more North Shore sand in my septum than there is filling in the reef at OTW right now.
After that, I took a stroll down to Kai Otten’s crib at Pupukea, another stop on my couch tour later this week, where Taj Burrow, Tom Whitaker, Luke Munro, Jay Thompson, Jarrad Howse and Kai were drinking beers and having a “challenge” as they put it, at Poops. It was basically a heckle fest heightened by the amphitheater set up of the beach house. Tom Whitaker’s 360’s were a highlight.
Then I headed back to the Matix/DVS house to watch Cory Lopez’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers get smoked by the Carolina Panthers. Cory’s Corona intake would give an indication of how he felt about the outcome of the game. Luckily for Florida, the Orlando Magic posted a fourth quarter comeback on the Clippers to save a little bit of face and Cory left a little happier.
I then went to dinner at Lei Leis with Mitch Coleborn, Blake Jones and SURFING photogs Tom Carey and Jimmy “Jimmicane” Wilson. We were seated in between Brock Little, Chava Greenlee and Coco Ho, respectively, which if you know anything about surfing is an honor, a privilege and a little bit scary. But nonetheless, there’s a lot of Hawaiian legend in those three last names and only on the North Shore can you share a booth with those types of legends.
Then I came home, rinsed off with the hose, brushed my teeth outside, grabbed a towel out of my boardbag for a blanket and got a few minutes of sleep on the couch.
And while I’m a hygiene disaster, a nusisance no doubt wherever I go and I’m not really sure where all my boards are at this point, I’m still pretty certain this is the way to go over here.