The Cannibal & The Concubine

posted by / News / October 17, 2012

Semi-finalist Conner Coffin's turns are the best in the business, but when the winds turned onshore it was Freestone's heat to win.

Semi-finalist Conner Coffin's turns are the best in the business, but when the winds turned onshore it was Freestone's heat to win.

Another amazing semi-finalist, Andrew Doheny's approach is all flair and style. Gorgeous to watch. He had a mid-morning beer in hand before this heat with Zeke Lau was even over. More good style. Photo: Hennings

Another amazing semi-finalist, Andrew Doheny's approach is all flair and style. Gorgeous to watch. He had a mid-morning beer in hand before this heat with Zeke Lau was even over. More good style. Photo: Hennings

And with a bit of added Komune luxury to the formerly vacant black sand beach, well, one's tempted wanted to complain about the loss of innocence, development of paradise, etc. etc...but the cappuccino's were tastey, the wifi was excellent, and the whole scene was simply too gorgeous to ignore. PHOTO: Myers

And with a bit of added Komune luxury to the formerly vacant black sand beach, well, one's tempted wanted to complain about the loss of innocence, development of paradise, etc. etc...but the cappuccino's were tastey, the wifi was excellent, and the whole scene was simply too gorgeous to ignore. PHOTO: Myers

Zeke Lau studies Freestone's airhow domination before the final.

Zeke Lau studies Freestone's airhow domination before the final.

Z-Lau and F-Stone's final looked like third world Huntington Beach. A poor arena for such fine gladiators, but they put on a good show regardless. $35,000 in prize money wasn't a bad incentive.

Z-Lau and F-Stone's final looked like third world Huntington Beach. A poor arena for such fine gladiators, but they put on a good show regardless. $35,000 in prize money wasn't a bad incentive.

The focus of Fanning. The intensity of AI. Zeke Lau is the hungriest surfer we've ever seen. Seriously. Photo: Hennings

The focus of Fanning. The intensity of AI. Zeke Lau is the hungriest surfer we've ever seen. Seriously. Photo: Hennings

Freestone is untouchable in the air. Technical. Ginormous. And consistent. Kid's a game-changer. Photo: Hennings

Freestone is untouchable in the air. Technical. Ginormous. And consistent. Kid's a game-changer. Photo: Hennings

The Gladiator about to enter his arena: Ezekial Lau.

The Gladiator about to enter his arena: Ezekial Lau.

See what we're talking about. DO NOT get in his way, wave. Photo: Hennings.

See what we're talking about. DO NOT get in his way, wave. Photo: Hennings.

Jack Freestone is one of the finest aerial competitors ever. Look out, WT. Photo: Curley

Jack Freestone is one of the finest aerial competitors ever. Look out, WT. Photo: Curley

Freestone's second World Junior title win. Zeke Lau's first World Junior not-win. This looks like the end, but it's really just the beginning. Photo: Hennings

Freestone's second World Junior title win. Zeke Lau's first World Junior not-win. This looks like the end, but it's really just the beginning. Photo: Hennings

Jack's starting a collection of these.

Jack's starting a collection of these.


 

There were some pretty out there rumors floating around this year’s Oakley World Pro Junior event in Bali this year. It’s sad because many of you weren’t around to pass them on. Fortunately, we have surf journalism.

The first rumor was that Ezekial Lau is a cannibal. “Yeah, he eats human babies,” they said. “That’s why he’s so much bigger than everyone else.”

Makes sense. Watching Zeke warm up for heat, it’s like some ancient gladiator preparing to slaughter unarmed peasants. Merciless. Blood-thirsty. Downright scary.

Zeke’s the same age as Jon Jon, Kolohe and Conner, but he spent the last four years attending a prestigious, Hawaiian-only high school which forbade him from doing freesurfing trips to Amsterdam, filming with Kai Neville or too-easily qualifying for the elite World Tour.

I asked Zeke how that made him feel. “Like a bull in a cage,” he said. “But I took those feelings and pushed it all into a little ball deep down inside me, so I could tap into them later.”

It’s later now. And, yikes.

The Raging Bull graduated in May and just trampled Andrew Doheny in the semi-finals at windblown Keramas. (There was a rumor Droid trains by eating croissants.) It was David & Goliath out there, without the whole slingshot, underdog part. Zeke’s smashed a big 360 air, pulled into the only barrel of the onshore day and screamed, “Are you not entertained!”

Straight to the finals with a baby on his breath.

 

 

They also said that the Aussie golden-boy Jack Freestone was sleeping with the head judge. That can’t be true, can it? The things people say.

You know he won this event two years ago, right? Of course, he knows what he’s doing.

Still, grumbled that he was unfairly pushed past local wild card Gazali Hamzah in Round Two. (Or, more accurately, that’s Hamzah’s last-second, soul-arching comeback barrel was intentionally underscored.) They also said Jack’s scores in the close Quarter Final against Conner Coffin were a hair too high. Not that it mattered.

Everyone’s an expert, you see. Every single person on the beach, they are never wrong. That’s how they know all this.

You, on the other had, might want to check the replay. Heats on demand at www.oakelyprojunior.com are quite professionalistic. This will also dispel any rumors the press release might spread about perfect waves. The waves were not perfect.

When they say “perfect,” it’s code for waiting period is over.

If you’re watching Heats on Demand, start with Jack’s Perfect 10 alley-oop in his Round 4 domination of Arashi Kato. OMFG, the judges just creamed their score cards.

Now skip to his semi-final against the formerly-stylish Portuguesian junior Ramzi Boukman, where Freestone posts a 9.5 and another Perfect 10 stalefish kurrupt air-reverse combo-thing. People compared that one to Matt Meola’s hippie flip, but Freestone did it in the Semi-Final.

All for your viewing pleasure. You, me, and Ramzi.

The poor Portuguesian just sat and watched Jackie’s relentless firecracker airshow for the full 25 minutes. After coming so far, there was a rumor that he didn’t catch a single wave his whole heat. That’s just wrong. He caught one to the beach at the end, then signed an affidavit stating that Jack Freestone was the best aerial surfer he’d ever seen in a contest. And that he had no knowledge one way or another about him sleeping with the judges.

I signed it, too.

Someone said.

Then here they were in the final. The Cannibal and the Concubine. Goliath and Peter Pan. Z-Lau and F-Stone. It was like the first time in ASP history the two most deserving surfers ended up in the final together. And perfect waves, too.

That was the rumor, at least.

But don’t watch the webcast of that heat. Because right then the waves stopped breaking and the final turned into some sad parody of the US Open. Some Balinese grovel session. Neither surfer was ashamed to make the worst of it, but do not to watch the Heats On Demand of this heat.

There’s a rumor that the judges all took shrooms.

There’s a rumor that girls surfed the best waves of the event and the boys got jacked. That the new Komune Resort is a secret terrorist plot. That regularfoots control the ASP. That MSG is bad for you. That Bintang contains formaldehyde. That all those ducks are actually leading the man with the stick. That wearing a tiny bikini will net you a higher score.

There’s a rumor that webcasts, heats on demand and new super press-release-writing robots have made surf journalists irrelevant.

Don’t believe any of it. Just know that Jack Freestone (AU) and Ezekial Lau (HI) are two of the gnarliest competitive surfers the surfing has ever known. The Tour should tremble to see them approach.

And congratulations, Mr. Freestone.
 

OAKLEY WORLD PRO JUNIOR CHAMPIONSHIP MEN’S FINAL RESULT:

Jack Freestone (AUS) 13.83 def. Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 13.77

OAKLEY WORLD PRO JUNIOR CHAMPIONSHIP MEN’S SEMIFINAL RESULTS:

SF 1: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 15.20 def. Andrew Doheny (USA) 7.50
SF 2: Jack Freestone (AUS) 19.53 def. Ramzi Boukhiam (MAR) 2.17

OAKLEY WORLD PRO JUNIOR CHAMPIONSHIP MEN’S QUARTERFINAL RESULTS:

QF 1: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 16.37 def. Wade Carmichael (AUS) 10.26
QF 2: Andrew Doheny (USA) 14.77 def. Cooper Chapman (AUS) 12.67
QF 3: Jack Freestone (AUS) 15.0 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 14.27
QF 4: Ramzi Boukhiam (MAR) 14.00 def. Frederico Morais (PRT) 8.37

Tags: , , , ,

Related Posts:


7 Responses to “The Cannibal & The Concubine”

  1. Juan Ma says:

    Its all good well played good surf max respect for the hawaiian boy , but the heat analyzer shows clearly how Carlos Muñoz deserved to be on that final instead of ezekiel . Power speed flow was all carlos game and a weird exchange with hipped scores at the beginning of the heat lead to a arguable result. Give it a go watch round 4 heat 1 . That little tube and wobbly cut back was not better than carlos fist wave of full barrel power carve roundhouse cut back and another power move wich he wasn’t well scored for . Just saying im Tico and i support my boy off course i want him to be on the final and he surely deserved that spot. BTW did you see that club sandwich he pulled twice yeah we all did. Its all a fair game close heat for shure but im shure any surfing eye will see the same thing i see on that heat .

  2. sogoodyeah says:

    Just watched the HoD of the final and can’t believe that 8.5 they gave Freestone. WTF? Weak turns. And that’s the score that won him the World Title?!? Zeke got screwed. Oh well. He’ll get ‘em back on the WT. Is it true the whole judging staff is Australian?

  3. Dirt says:

    @sogoodyeah. Calm down. Zeke was not screwed, Jack won it, he was by far the best surfer of the event.

  4. Jason says:

    Yep the entire judging panel was Australian, well only if brazil, America, Indonesia and France are all Australian colonies

  5. another air reverse says:

    Well done Jack, he clearly won the event.
    I look forward to seeing Zeke Lau on tour more than anyone else, so many of the young guys can pull those big rotation air reverses now but very few guys as young as Zeke can do those big man carves. He is simply easier to watch than most the ‘Gabriel Medina’ like surfers out there at the moment.
    Zeke can tube ride, charge big waves with style, throw airs on shit or end sections of a wave while hacking the back out of the decent wall sections.

  6. Sal says:

    to the author and the magazine: first of all: its Ramzi “Boukhiam” not “Boukam”. Second: he is Moroccan not “portuguesian”. thrid: a person from Portugal is “portuguese” not “portuguesian”. What the hell is wrong with you guys???

  7. Basilissa says:

    Seriously, portuguesian? My God… you should also correct the label under the picture: Coffin didn’t make it to semis, he only got to quarters. Portuguesian… actually it’s kind of funny.

Leave a Reply