The Surfing Rulebook

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RULE NO. 241: A wave is 18 percent better if you arrive by boat.

Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.

Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.

Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.

Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.

Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.

Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.

Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.

Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).

Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.

RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.

RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)

RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off

RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)

RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.

RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).

RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.

RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy

RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over

RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)

RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers

RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.

RULE NO. {{{940}}}: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.

RULE NO. 948: Nothing’s more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.

RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.

RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.


RULE NO. 498: Driving around in your wetsuit is bad luck.

RULE NO. 366: The car parked next to you is not into your pre-surf amp-up music.

RULE NO. 579: Vandalizing a non-local’s car will ruin your next road trip.

RULE NO. 1,244: The coolness of your airbrush is in direct correlation to how well you surf.

RULE NO. 47: If you go back to the first spot you checked, you have to paddle out.

RULE NO. 312: You can never find a fin key when you really need one.

Rule NO. 310 – If you watch a webcast of an ASP event, don’t comment on it as if you were there.

Rule No. 211 – A good rock jump is like your first good set when everyone’s watching: don’t blow it.

Rule No. 838 – It’s still not cool to call it a skeg.

Rule No. 491 – If you describe your last tube as an “in ‘n’ out,” it wasn’t any good.

Rule No. 660: Never sat “one more” out loud.

Rule No. 389: Night surfing sounds cooler than it really is.

Rule No. 651: Surfing in a t-shirt looks better than it feels.

Rule No. 689: Building a board rack in your living room establishes that you are very single.

Rule No. 383: Never claim a tube at Backdoor, Off the Wall, or Pipeline. No matter how bad you want to.

Rule No. 430: Change your wax. Its definitely needs it.

Rule No. 311: Hype the post rain pollution, then go surfing.

Rule No. 241: Once you’ve exchanged pleasantries in the lineup, you can no longer burn them (and yes we said “pleasantries.)”

Rule No. {{{100}}}: Don’t Stop Believin’

Rule No. 86: Never make a cell phone call from a surf spot; no matter who you’re calling.