The Surfing Rulebook

posted by / News / May 9, 2007

RULE NO. 241: A wave is 18 percent better if you arrive by boat.

Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.

Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.

Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.

Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.

Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.

Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.

Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.

Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).

Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.

RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.

RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)

RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off

RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)

RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.

RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).

RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.

RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy

RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over

RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)

RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers

RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.

RULE NO. {{{940}}}: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.

RULE NO. 948: Nothing’s more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.

RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.

RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.

SUBMIT YOUR OWN RULE AND GET IT PUBLISHED IN THE MAG!

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22 Responses to “The Surfing Rulebook”

  1. Casey says:

    Kissing the ass of traveling or transplanted Hawaiians isn’t going to get you a spot in their lineup.

  2. John says:

    Everybody is tired of the pseudo pro, retro cool, big wave charger, hardcore loc, internet poser, and the I know everybody and am special vibe. So leave that shit in the car.

  3. Josh says:

    It’s not that cool, seriously!

  4. Jerry says:

    Chances are it was a step off

  5. Tom says:

    As cool as it is to see a shot of yourself, recognize that the photog is a major contributor to that crowd you’re dealing with.

  6. Keaton says:

    if you’re not a local, dont try to act like you know what youre doing

  7. Kenendy says:

    If you ARE a local, don’t be an ass to everyone you don’t recognize.

  8. Nash says:

    Rule No. 346: If you’re over 50 years old, don’t try to learn how to surf. Surfing is a young people sport. (unless you already know how to surf)

  9. Drew says:

    Rule No. 112: if you fall off your board dont explain why to others.

  10. south burton says:

    Rule No. 442: Wax smells better than it tastes.

  11. south burton says:

    Rule No. 330: A surfing movie should not be as long as how much you paid for it.

  12. AM Parra says:

    “Just one more wave” means at least two more waves.

  13. south burton says:

    Rule No. 566: If you take the surf report from a sponger it will always be overhead.

  14. Knox says:

    Rule No. 314: Old guys suck.
    Rule No. 315: Old chicks suck more.

  15. Crimson says:

    Common sense, bro. Take your leash off once you make it back to the sand.

  16. Crimson says:

    Rule No. #465

    Dude. You got this.

  17. Ralph says:

    Noone cares who your dad is.

  18. Morgan says:

    No matter how hard the paddle out is, your only not moving when you stop paddling.

  19. Joe says:

    if your over 25 its no longer cool to sit in your car and smoke a joint before you paddle out. its just sad.

  20. Leo says:

    The leash is like your toothbrush, it doesn’t share with others.

  21. Brice van der Post says:

    Wiping out is wiping out, no need for reasons…

  22. Brice van der Post says:

    No stickers, unless your sponsored

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