The Surfing Rulebook

posted by / News / May 9, 2007

RULE NO. 241: A wave is 18 percent better if you arrive by boat.

Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.

Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.

Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.

Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.

Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.

Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.

Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.

Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).

Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.

RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.

RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)

RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off

RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)

RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.

RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).

RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.

RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy

RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over

RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)

RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers

RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.

RULE NO. {{{940}}}: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.

RULE NO. 948: Nothing’s more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.

RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.

RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.


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  • Casey

    Kissing the ass of traveling or transplanted Hawaiians isn’t going to get you a spot in their lineup.

  • John

    Everybody is tired of the pseudo pro, retro cool, big wave charger, hardcore loc, internet poser, and the I know everybody and am special vibe. So leave that shit in the car.

  • Josh

    It’s not that cool, seriously!

  • Jerry

    Chances are it was a step off

  • Tom

    As cool as it is to see a shot of yourself, recognize that the photog is a major contributor to that crowd you’re dealing with.

  • Keaton

    if you’re not a local, dont try to act like you know what youre doing

  • Kenendy

    If you ARE a local, don’t be an ass to everyone you don’t recognize.

  • Nash

    Rule No. 346: If you’re over 50 years old, don’t try to learn how to surf. Surfing is a young people sport. (unless you already know how to surf)

  • Drew

    Rule No. 112: if you fall off your board dont explain why to others.

  • south burton

    Rule No. 442: Wax smells better than it tastes.

  • south burton

    Rule No. 330: A surfing movie should not be as long as how much you paid for it.

  • AM Parra

    “Just one more wave” means at least two more waves.

  • south burton

    Rule No. 566: If you take the surf report from a sponger it will always be overhead.

  • Knox

    Rule No. 314: Old guys suck.
    Rule No. 315: Old chicks suck more.

  • Crimson

    Common sense, bro. Take your leash off once you make it back to the sand.

  • Crimson

    Rule No. #465

    Dude. You got this.

  • Ralph

    Noone cares who your dad is.

  • Morgan

    No matter how hard the paddle out is, your only not moving when you stop paddling.

  • Joe

    if your over 25 its no longer cool to sit in your car and smoke a joint before you paddle out. its just sad.

  • Leo

    The leash is like your toothbrush, it doesn’t share with others.

  • Brice van der Post

    Wiping out is wiping out, no need for reasons…

  • Brice van der Post

    No stickers, unless your sponsored

  • Matt McCoy

    Rule #11 – Basic Wave Etiquette: If there’s someone surfing right behind you, you’re riding on their wave. (aka: your a “snake”)

  • Matt McCoy

    Rule #12 – Basic Wave Etiquiette: If you “snake” some else’s wave by accident, just apologize and try your hardest not to do it again.

  • Matt McCoy

    If you’re a beginner, it’s best you stick with beginner waves, sand bottoms breaks and take a surf lesson.