RULE NO. 241: A wave is 18 percent better if you arrive by boat.
Rule No. 789: Unless you’re seriously injured it is not OK to ask for help with your wetsuit.
Rule No. 678: Be extra cautious around anyone wearing any sort of hat in the lineup.
Rule No. 465: Never tell anyone you’re waking up early.
Rule No. 309: Wetsuits have gotten really good. Take a leak before you paddle out.
Rule No. 52: Your tide watch is off by an hour.
Rule No. 211: Even if you weren’t lucky enough to be part of Surf PE, you will be now when you paddle out before 8am.
Rule No. 121: Wetsuits for board shorts: pick only one.
Rule No. 317: If you haven’t surfed your new gun within one year of purchase, you must sell it to someone who will, (at half the purchase price).
Rule No. 867: More accessories; less respect.
RULE NO. 145: Rashguards haven’t made a comeback yet.
RULE NO. 146: Shortjohns have (unless you’re riding a 6’1” Thruster)
RULE NO. 578: Don’t trust a surf shop without any photos of their local break going off
RULE NO. 278: If you pull back on or miss a set wave, you’re barred from taking the next one (unless no one else is around)
RULE NO. 97: She’s not as impressed as you think.
RULE NO. 40: Getting sprayed is good luck (so get over it).
RULE NO. 68: Under NO circumstance may you harpoon, and if you do, make sure you kill them.
RULE NO. 378: You’ll never fix a ding as good as your local ding guy
RULE NO. 698: If you fall while running into the water, go back and start over
RULE NO. 77: You can’t give advice to a beginner you don’t know (unless he’s in danger)
RULE NO. 95: Never tow with strangers
RULE NO. 523: You surf 50 percent better in a brand-new wetsuit.
RULE NO. {{{940}}}: Gnarly locals never drink microbrew.
RULE NO. 948: Nothing’s more embarrassing than putting your wetsuit on backwards.
RULE NO. 949: …Except maybe not being able to get a new pair of fins to fit in your board.
RULE NO. 298: Hanging on a nice patch of grass after a surf is better than hanging in the sand.
SUBMIT YOUR OWN RULE AND GET IT PUBLISHED IN THE MAG!
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Kissing the ass of traveling or transplanted Hawaiians isn’t going to get you a spot in their lineup.
Everybody is tired of the pseudo pro, retro cool, big wave charger, hardcore loc, internet poser, and the I know everybody and am special vibe. So leave that shit in the car.
It’s not that cool, seriously!
Chances are it was a step off
As cool as it is to see a shot of yourself, recognize that the photog is a major contributor to that crowd you’re dealing with.
if you’re not a local, dont try to act like you know what youre doing
If you ARE a local, don’t be an ass to everyone you don’t recognize.
Rule No. 346: If you’re over 50 years old, don’t try to learn how to surf. Surfing is a young people sport. (unless you already know how to surf)
Rule No. 112: if you fall off your board dont explain why to others.
Rule No. 442: Wax smells better than it tastes.
Rule No. 330: A surfing movie should not be as long as how much you paid for it.
“Just one more wave” means at least two more waves.
Rule No. 566: If you take the surf report from a sponger it will always be overhead.
Rule No. 314: Old guys suck.
Rule No. 315: Old chicks suck more.
Common sense, bro. Take your leash off once you make it back to the sand.
Rule No. #465
Dude. You got this.
Noone cares who your dad is.
No matter how hard the paddle out is, your only not moving when you stop paddling.
if your over 25 its no longer cool to sit in your car and smoke a joint before you paddle out. its just sad.
The leash is like your toothbrush, it doesn’t share with others.