Five Lessons We Learned This Week

Not all heroes wear capes!!! Fresh water sponge soaring for glory!!!!! #boogieordie #dongsmacker #sendingit

A photo posted by DICK DRAGGERS (@dickdraggers) on

1. Making fun of bodyboarding is still funny.
Time kills almost all jokes. The key word there is almost — the greatest of great jokes have a way of sticking around forever and always being worthy of a chuckle. Example: making fun of bodyboarders. Is it low-brow? Uncreative? Immature? Totally vain? Yes, yes, yes and absolutely. But you can’t not laugh at it. Just look at the @dickdraggers Insta page and try to disagree. Speaking of Instagram, we compiled a list of seven Instagram accounts that you should be following here. Scroll wisely.

…But there’s still only one way to get a score at Teahupo’o.Photo: Corey Wilson
2.Gabriel is smarter than John John.
At least at competing. Your two favorite surfers sparred in Round 3 at the Billabong Pro Tahiti in what Kelly Slater described as the best heat of the year. Gabriel won — because he’s a smarter competitor. Read a full opinion on what exactly that means here, or watch a heat recap here. Or Option C: do both.

3.Tom Curren wears pants in the ocean.
And he rollerskates to warm up. And if that doesn’t put a curious sparkle in your eye, then you probably shouldn’t click here to read the full story of a curious Tom Curren encounter in Mexico.

Volcom's Psychic Migrations Is Coming
4.Volcom’s new movie is almost here.
Without surf movies, we’d all be lifeless shells of human beings wandering the earth with eyes as empty as the desert sky not knowing who we are or where we should go or even what to do with our hands. That might have come off as a little bit drastic, but there’s no disputing the fact that surf movies make the world a better place. Volcom’s new movie, Psychic Migrations, is coming very soon. You can watch the trailer and get incredibly excited here.

Hey you, Put Your Phone Down
5.Phones are probably bad for you.
In a biological, give you diseases sort of way? Probably. But we’re not a biology or tell you you’re getting sick kind of website. But we are, apparently, the type of site who gives you great advice. Like an essay urging you to put your phone down here. It’s kind of ironic considering the fact that we just told you to follow seven Instagram pages and you’re most likely going to be thumbing away at a small glass screen while you read the essay we just suggested. So uhh, check it out — and then maybe put the phone down.