Hey, You Wanna See A 20 Foot Shark?

Deep Blue (The biggest shark ever filmed) second part

Another DEEP BLUE VIDEO!!!!(Please read below about our fundraising campaign)Otro video de DEEP BLUE!!!!(Por favor lean el enlace de abajo acerca de nuestro proyecto)

Posted by Mauricio Hoyos Padilla on Monday, August 10, 2015

You do, in fact, want to see a 20 foot shark. That’s why you clicked into this post. That’s why you’re clicking play on the video above. The Great White school bus featured in said video is named Deep Blue. She’s about half a century old and has been living in the waters around Guadalupe Island in Mexico. Pretty girl, ain’t she? Kind of reminds me of a woman that I once knew…

…I was at a dark, dusty bar in the town of Oxnard, California. It was a Thursday night — karaoke night! — and as is tradition, I tore into my rendition of Bruce Springteen’s Born To Run. I poured my heart and soul into Bruce’s lyrical mastery, accompanied by the heartfelt oohhs, ahhs and karate kicks that turned Bruce into the godlike figure that he became all over the world/in coastal New Jersey.

In other words, I burned the entire place down. In my post-song bliss, I met a woman. She was in the 250-300 pound range and very urban. After ten minutes (but who’s counting?) of conversation, she asked me if I honestly thought that I could handle her sexually. With glazed over eyes and sweaty brow, I told her that I absolutely could. But I knew deep down in my heart of hearts that I couldn’t. And she could sense that. And so she said “Get the f-k outta here boi” and we went our separate ways.

That woman, to me, is Deep Blue. I know I can’t handle her. She knows that I couldn’t satisfy her, not even a little bit. We’d just enjoy our fleeting interaction and respectfully go our separate ways.

All I can say is that I hope you liked my song, Deep Blue. I sang it just for you.