When People Sucked At Instagram

10,000 likes? Comment section blooming with rave reviews consisting of laugh-crying faces and OK signs and hands of praise? 35 new followers today and, shit, it ain’t even noon yet? Professional surfers are truly experiencing a golden age of Instagram — they’re almost as good as “models.” But things weren’t always sunshine and social media incentives. No, no, no. When Instagram first became a thing, nobody really knew what it was or how to use it. The result of that confusion? Penises, spiders, fowl, awful filters and Gabriel Medina taking shirtless mirror selfies — would anybody actually double tap that?

Turns out they would. We sent SURFING Magazine’s archeology department out to dig through the best of the world Instagram posts. Their findings? See below.


A photo posted by Yadin Nicol (@yadin_nicol) on

Hahaha, because penis!

Free tittys at the mall!!

A photo posted by Eric Geiselman (@eric_geiselman) on

Back when tits were free at the mall. I think I paid like $7.50 per tit when I went last week.

A photo posted by Mitch J Crews (@mitchcrews) on

Hahaha, because penis! (Part 2)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh spoooooooooky.

A photo posted by Dylan Graves (@dylangraves) on

Before Dylan Graves had long hair, he had rum.


A photo posted by LUKE DAVIS (@lukedavisthegrey) on

Oh was this one only three weeks ago? Whoops.

The early bird gets the rubbish. Bush Turky

A photo posted by Julian Wilson (@julian_wilson) on

Giving the people what they want to see.


A photo posted by John john Florence (@john_john_florence) on

It’s settled. John John Florence: officially not a whore.

Mais um dia se treino!

A photo posted by Gabriel Medina (@gabrielmedina) on

Absolute fire bro.

Shore casting on the big island "ulua'"

A photo posted by Jamie O'Brien (@whoisjob) on

Would have looked better in HDR.

5.4 wetsuit in Hawaii…..that ain't cute

A photo posted by Alana Blanchard (@alanarblanchard) on

This was before you perfected your strategy on Instagram, huh?