Passion Picks: Rip Curl Pro Bells 2016

Mick FanningMick Fanning. Photo: Corey Wilson

Oh how I love the early season ratings mix up! Mick Fanning at $9000 on Fantasy Grudge? For Bells? You kidding me with this shit? Let’s go!

Conner Coffin ($16,750)
This might very well be a dumb move considering Conner’s never surfed Bells and I could’ve grabbed Adriano instead (who’s likely surfed more Bells than Occy and Mick combined). A lot of people thought it was dumb to pick Wilko at Snapper though. What now bitches?

Mick Fanning ($9,000)
I always hear some asshole on an AM radio ad say “It’s the biggest no brainer in the history of man-kind.” I can’t remember what that guy is trying to sell, so it must be a shitty commercial…unless he’s somehow endorsing Mick Fanning at Bells, in which case he’d be spot-on.

Nat Young ($9,000)
Did you check Nat’s new edit? He surfs waves similar to Bells all the time and drops hammers on them. I keep waiting on him to one-up that magical rookie run, and surely this is the year!

Gabriel Medina ($9,000)
It’s true, Medina might not even have the best backhand on Rip Curl’s active roster. But Wilko has never made it past Round 3 at Bells and he’s currently the most expensive person on FantasyGrudge. Australia is definitely the weakest leg of the tour for Medina, but he still swings a massive hog.

Jeremy Flores ($9,000)
I’ve done this before only to see him in the Winkipop parking lot saying “Don’t pick me. My boards are shit and so am I.” But right now, I somehow feel like he’s gotten things under control. He’s always a loose cannon so I wouldn’t be all that surprised if this backfires on me big-time.

Julian Wilson ($5,000)
A 25th to kick of the year is not where you want to start when aiming at a World Title, but Julian got lucky. All the other 2016 contenders ate a bag of dicks and/or got injured. Scope the Top 10 right now and tell me who’s threatening? We can’t seriously believe Adriano will go back-to-back, John is John, and Filipe is in PT somewhere near San Clemente. Hey Jules, the meatloaf! We want it now!

Jordy Smith ($5,000)
I can’t believe I’m picking Jordy at $5,000. Sike! Dusty Payne thinks Jordy underachieves. This is getting absurd. If Jordy bows out before Round 3 at Bells, I’ll pick Bede Durbidge on my team for Margaret River to penalize myself.

Mason Ho ($1,500)
If Mason is in the contest, he’s on my team. It’s that simple.