Cold, Brown, and Perfect

New Jersey sees first swell of the 2015-2016 cold season

There exists a place where the dough of hand-cooked bagels fluffs like a cloud on the inside while the exterior remains perfectly crisp, like the first breeze of autumn. A place where the beer flows like wine and the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. A place where walls of water explode in front of jetties and cascade perfectly into dreamy craters with hardly a soul to fill them. A place called New Jersey.

Approximately half of that first paragraph consists of actual sentiments about the Garden State. The other half is comprised of direct quotes from Dumb And Dumber. It’s up to you to decipher what’s what. 

Jersey just felt one of the first few swells of the 2015-2016 cold season. Waves the color of mocha barreled (literally) up and down the coast, bringing joy to all those who own a halfway decent pair of booties. It was a treat, as the water was still warm enough to evade a 5/4/3 — not that that’s anything worth worrying about anyway. More rubber means more swell. Bigger swell, too. And sometimes meaner. 

As Pat Schmidt put it, “Honestly, this swell was kinda soft compared to a real wintertime one. I guess I can’t say much though — I still got smoked and hurt my shoulder. It was big in the morning but funky, and it was about half the size by the time it cleaned up and got proper hollow.”

We’ll keep you posted on those days. Until then, may the beer flow like wine. –Brendan Buckley

All photos by Seth Stafford

Mike Gleason.
Pat Schmidt.
Asher Nolan
Asher Nolan

Pat Schmidt.

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