Happy Ending: The Tortoise And The Hare

posted by / Happy Ending, Photos / January 31, 2014

@alexdoanephotographyThe Tortoise and the Hare. Photo: Alex Doane

There’s an old fable about a tortoise and a hare. As the story goes, the mismatched pair engages in a race. A nimble, fleet-footed bunny against a weak, lethargic land-turtle? Come on. That’s like racing a Ferrari against your creepy uncle’s (the one with the mustache and the slight lisp) ’94 Ford Escort station wagon. The tortoise doesn’t stand a chance. Well get this. Midway through the race, the hare’s obviously winning, and the dumbass gets cocky and decides to take a nap. And you know what? The tortoise cruised past him in that arrogant slumber, thus winning the race and becoming the fifth most celebrated tortoise in the history of Reptilia. [The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles occupy the first four slots.]

But there’s a moral here. And that moral is to never give up. Even when the odds are against you. Even when you’re a reptile. Even when you’re the weathered engine of 20-year-old car driven by a 40-year-old man with a lisp. Even when you’re getting doused in the face by an intrusive bodyboarder’s spray on a 6-foot wave. Never lose sight of your goals. Never lose hope. And never, ever, let a good one get away from you at Pipe. —Brendan Buckley

@alexdoanephotography
Sequence: Alex Doane

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66 Responses to “Happy Ending: The Tortoise And The Hare”

  1. smart says:

    a local snaking a brazzo… looks good to me!

  2. CP says:

    I hope that sponger got slapped!

  3. Ron says:

    Nonsense! The body boarder is the tortoise and has more drag, thus being the slower between the surfboard and the bodyboard. The surfboard has less drag and should be the hare…quicker and more nimble than the bodyboarder. Both riders had a great wave, and as expected, the surfer beat the bodyboarder. It’s great that they were willing to share the wave and make things more challenging for both of them. However, if the bodyboarder dropped in on the surfer, then he should have pulled out if he could. Give the sponger credit for hanging in there as long as he did, and give the surfer credit for being willing to share the wave. Both surfers exhibited great skill in sharing this wave all the way to the end!

  4. 662 says:

    That sponger is Jeff Hubbard who is a multiple World Champ and guarans it was either planned or a no big deal mistake. Slap yourself for lack of Aloha and not giving any benefit of doubt.

    Stop being an elitist kook. SPLIT

  5. CP says:

    that sponger (jeff hubbard) surfs pipe better than 99% of stand up surfers out there, show some respect.

  6. Juan says:

    We can slap whatever narrative we want on this sequence. Leave it to the elitist crowd to inject competition into an otherwise harmonious event. The way I see it, Sponger and Surfer shared the wave, both got barreled, and both made it. We don’t know who’s the “intrusive” one without seeing earlier shots in the sequence. For all I know, the surfer dropped in on the sponger, thus intruding on his wave. But that’s superfluous as they both got spit out into the channel together.

  7. Standupswelling says:

    The author of this article needs to read a few books on grammar and sentence structure.

  8. HC says:

    Clueless author. Is there no editor on the web content jeezus, figure it out!

  9. TOM says:

    Please… is Jeff Hubbard… maybe he surf better than everyone in Surfing Mag. and out there… this article should be called “the hare without style” sorry but the guy looks like a grom when he take the barrel in this pics´.

    BB and Surf doesn´t work about same principies … you can´t compare both disciplines foolishly about the “speed”, i´m not remember some contest of quarter mile surfing or slalom surfing… my god……. if you compare an insane 10-15 feet Body Boarding Air Reverse, Invert or ARS such as Pierre Louis Costes, Sean Virtue, Tamega o Jeff Hubbard, can you affirm after “oh… now the 6 to 7 feet air reverse from Kelly Slater at Bells or NY is totally poor” ? ? ? Come on guys… You can´t compare both sports …

  10. Robert says:

    Looking at the tracks left in the wave Its possible that surfer on the bodyboard -yes, he is a surfer, because its about riding waves not which floatation device you use- had priority. But as has already been said, its just conjecture without photos of the takeoffs. Also, those still referring to bodyboards as sponge boards need a reality check. You’re way behind the times.

  11. Mik says:

    #CP: you’re delusional

  12. jason r says:

    who ever wrote this article is a fuking faggot, maybe you could get shacked like that if you werent such a gossip bitch spending all your time on the internet, averaged sized dick dip shit
    -jason

  13. jason r says:

    whoever wrote this article post your name, im a stand up, i dont condone getting snaked on whatever youre riding, but your just a fukin barn

  14. Lawai Robinson says:

    Hey Brendan talk shit about Hawaiians and you’ll get slapped next time your out there! Jeff is a World Champ and fellow Hawaiian that earns his keep out there as a world class bodyboarder. Why don’t you talk to Kainoa McGee about this and see how quick he hangs you up…..

    Hey Surfing Publisher have your staff check their facts before printing BS like this, shame on you guys!

  15. gronk says:

    Looking at the line I reckon the stand up dropped in. Show us the earlier shots of this sequence please…….

  16. ALINE CACOZZI says:

    THE SURFER IS BIG RIDER RODRIGO KOXA.

  17. Noah Hamilton says:

    Once again an uninformed Author who didn’t do his homework. The story still came off trying to make Hawaii’s 4 time world bodyboarding champ look like the bad guy. Have some respect. Doesn’t matter what you ride.

  18. suck my balls says:

    you guys at surfing mag are idiots. didn’t even know this was Jeff Hubbard? kooks! what is this a surf mag? oh yeah it is. that makes sense. most surfers don’t follow the endangered sport of boogie boarding. suck my balls.

  19. tony carson (ty) big island but my friends call me "T" for short says:

    Brandon Buckleys, I triple dare you to come to the Big Island. Fuck slaps, you’re gonna get choke pinched. Pinched right on the dick tip. With my thumb and forefinger, or lips if my fingers are occupied.

    Also jason r, what exactly do you qualify as average dick sized? I’d appreciate some specifics, bc that comment was both confusing and disheartening brah.

    You know what, you’re barred now jason r. Come to Big island and you gets pinches too. Fuck it — I’m gonna give you butterfly kisses, the one’s where my eyelashes tickle your forearm. You’ll be fucking humiliated.

    And Juan, you’re an overwrought motherfucker, but good points man.

  20. robbie says:

    Sponging in comparison to surfing is lame and always will be. Random surfer schooled the “world champ” haha, love it.

  21. Yup says:

    holy shit that’s the best post I’ve ever read T

  22. Daniel Santana V.V. Assis says:

    B O D Y B O A R D I N G . . .

  23. wtf happen? says:

    I bodyboard and surf. i see notting wrong here but the stupid idiot who wrote this, and for the people here who are talking shit about hawaii. Stay home and surf your shitty home break while you dream of surfing pipe on day.

  24. James Jones says:

    the best line in this whole poorly written story “But there’s a moral here. And that moral is” not sure what school/uni/halfwit taught you but if you what to write “and” you can not have a full stop before it.

    What you need to add to get away with it is add this ;

    then you may start a sentence with an “And” but this is what kids in kindy learn & it is drilled in to you all during high school…

    Get it together mate!

    James

    Feel free to call me if you want 0418 884 846

  25. Jonny Correa says:

    Author is obvously a complete Retard !! … The Brazo dropped on 4 time pipeline champ Jeff Hubbard .. How could surfer mag post some super idiodic story for all to see .. It just made Surfer Mag look like complete Kooks … ( GOD Dam Jeff had such a good Barrel on this !! )

  26. RIDEempire says:

    That “cocky dumbass” is Jeff Hubbard bodyboard world champion and pipe fanatic. Hes surfed pipe better than 90% of you surfers out there. Sow some respect and stop it with the cocky egotistical talk. Way to spread Aloha!

  27. idropkn33 says:

    Why does a short sited article get published?! Proliferating a sponger/surfer conflict!! Does anyone REALLY know what happened?! Does the author?! Did he talk to Jeff or the surfer to get the whole story or did he write an obvious piece of fiction based solely on the sequence.. Only an idiot would continue to drive a wedge between wave riders and a second rate rag would print it!!

  28. Fuck Surfers says:

    surfer clearly needed to leave the tube after the bodyboarder eat farts, but your moral = surfers tables are faster not you go down a wave, and when you go down, you find yourself with bodyboardes that are already there. sorry for my English is as bad as the attitude of many surfers

  29. Skipy says:

    This is Jeff Hubbard! The bodyboarder guy on that wave :P

    http://vimeo.com/49206109

  30. RZ says:

    yes, keep writing stuff like this, buckley, or whoever you are. thank you for keeping the animosity alive and well between boardriders. it makes it easier for us bodyboarders to boycott anything stand up surfing, including your crappy magazine. we might be small in number compared to the stand ups, but remember this: the next time one of your surf apparel companies collapse (and it will), we will be more than happy to watch this from the sideline. watching your sport self destruct to obscurity is one of the best thing since sliced bread, lol. aloha

  31. David Carvalho says:

    Hello,

    I will never understand this one sided rivalry, because Bodyboarders left it long ago. I challenge you to run the last 15 years of Bodyboarding Magazines (Riptide, Le Boogie, Movement mag and so on) and you will not find one article, one single quote about Surfing in a negative way…we respect you guys, not because of the board you ride, but because you are with us in the ocean, you, like us are wave riders, ocean sailors. We just don’t care or judge what vehicle you choose to ride the ocean…

    My father Bodyboards since 1986, I Bodyboard since 1989 and I bet that most of the guys reading this were not even born, I have learned to respect the ocean and the ones who choose to ride it, I have learned to respect everyone not matter what…

    At our local break, we are about 12, it doesn’t matter if you are a Bodyboarder or if you are a Surfer we get stoked the same way for every barrel that drains over the shallow banks, because in the end, it’s about charging, getting barreled, being happy and feeling free…

    So over the last 20 years, are you telling me you havent learned shit? For god sake kids, I feel sorry for you, because every time you get in the water, you will never feel the true spirit of Surfing…

    Cheers from Portugal.

  32. BrownDog says:

    Hows the leggie pull from the Lid…? last pic
    Stand up and have a go….. to easy on your gut and still havin to drop in!
    Booooo!!!

  33. mehdi says:

    what a kook whoever wrote this article…clearly a dumbass.

  34. Lou says:

    All the sponge riders here are pissed off, but this is you are all hated on the line-ups for drop in on surfers, just like that dude
    is there anything lamer than being a professional bodyboarder???

  35. Tim Reardon says:

    tubes for 2 make for more fun, nothin but high 5′s here!! stewart and obrien https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4Lc4-wji4E

  36. Nuno says:

    Well, what you ride is what you ride, no matter what, respect and be respected! Can’t people get along? There’s no waves for everybody? Surf or BB Just destroy those waves and drink a beer after it!

  37. You're AKook says:

    jeff hubbard is one of the most respected bodyboarders on the planet by all kinds of waveriders. more people look up to him and respect him than you, mr. Buckley. not to mention he’s one of the most hardest charging hawaiians at pipe….locals>everything

  38. JC says:

    Wow. Surfing is blowing it hard with the whole “Boogie Hate” element. First with Wassel and now with this this.

    Brendan Buckley is a grade A kook-can’t believe Surfing mag pays this idiot. That is Jeff Hubbard on the boogie, recognize! He is super mellow and talented. He looked right into that surfers eyes before he dropped in. Once I saw the leash pull, it became VERY clear this guy deserved a roasting. Jeff Wouldn’t do this otherwise. I guarantee any and all locals have his back any day out there.

    NEGATIVE POINTS SURFING MAG. STOP FUCKING BLOWING IT.

    Best for Brendan to stay on the other side of the country. If I ever see him it’s BBQ city!

    Also, what a pathetic attempt to connect a classic story to a this sequence. It has ZERO application to the Tortoise and the Hare and what that story is all about.

    You guys are fucking fried. If Petey boy didn’t pick sweet photos I wouldn’t wipe my ass with this trash. Congratulations, you created a ‘buzz’ on the internets at the cost of your brand’s credibility. Oh and you got to promote HATE. So cool braj.

  39. rodrigo mendez says:

    How about when Hubb gets out of the barrel and makes a move like a soccer player grabbing the surfer’s leash with the right hand and after the surfer wipes out, Hubb stretches out his arms like a soccer player (i did nothing).
    Im a bodyboarder and im a good one .Grab someones leash like that. champion or not that’s not cool. I respect Hubb for his skills but this move made him look really bad .Who drops in on who or the priority don’t matter. He grabbbed this guy leash, no aloha at all! shame not cool.

  40. Joao Andre says:

    I think your magazine should´t publish this. Don´t promote this stupid war between surf and bodyboard. It´s a normal think when a surfer do the same to a bodyboard.
    THIS TIME THE STUPID IS YOU YOUR MAGASINE WHEN COMPARE TWO TYPES OF CARS.

  41. Booboo says:

    Funny how you surfers make that assumption because of a picture. Local bodyboarders have more of a right to burn surfers who DONT belong out in the line up, this kind of controversy makes me sick, why can’t the surfing community ever get along? Because they CANT, they always think they’re above everyone, and that kind of negativity and now this!!!! To whoever wrote this article, I hope I see you out at pipe, so I can burn the shit out of you on my manta bodyboard. Yeah I’m sponsored and take this sort of this shit seriously. Fuckin haoles….

  42. ROMULO RIGNANI MOREIRA says:

    Ridicula a atitude da revista Surfing Magazine…Lamentável promover essa guerra ente BB e surfistas…Rodrigo Koxa e Jeff Hubbard tiraram um tubaço, que só aconteceu porque são dois super atletas…IN PORTUGUESE.

  43. Suckley says:

    Brendan, you try so hard to be funny, but can you please just stop? Nobody likes the loud, unfunny guy who thinks he’s hilarious. Nobody likes that guy. Just look at the comments all over this page. There’s a moral here, my friend: don’t ever give up. Never lose hope. Just like your little tortoise. Because one day, you might actually write something hilarious. Actually, never mind. Let’s stick to attainable goals. One day, you might write something vaguely worth reading. One day, dude. Be strong. Don’t let the haters get you down. Anyway, have fun in Hawaii next time you visit, brah! This piece seems like a hit with the locals.

  44. doesn't matter says:

    after this wave both of them just laughed it off. Hubb said he dropped in and then noticed long after the drop that the surfer was there. then they both shared a barrel. END OF STORY. why do some of you goddamn arrogant fuckheads want to make literally NOTHING into a big, unhealthy rivalry/conflict. surfing magazine, surfline, you massive companies are ruining the sport. when the bodyboard tour gets their act together again (and OH IT WILL) we are going to fucking shred. and you know what, we will still give stand up surfing respect even though you dumbfucks don’t deserve one drop of respect. ITS NOT WHAT YOU RIDE, ITS THAT YOU RIDE! FUCK! I could go on and on but ill stop here…fuck surfing magazine

  45. Ronald Stuebins says:

    Unfortunately for bodyboarding Pipeline will never be a bridgehead of freehold sporting agreements; therefore, personally, I’ve struggled with the arrangement of any photographic comporting.

  46. fuqmebuckley says:

    I want to know what size dicks jason r likes dealing with because it is apparent that average isn’t good enough for his pretty lips.

  47. Han Solo says:

    Rodrigo Koxa is a blow in Brazilian. Jeff Hubbard is a Hawaiian that has been surfing Pipe for the past 17-odd years. Therefore Jeff has more rights to the wave, drop in or not. Sorry for all you arrogant retards but that’s the way it is at Pipe – there’s a pecking order – locals get waves, blow ins wait their turn on the shoulder or inside. Simple as that.

    PS. This author totally kooked the article.

  48. Greg L says:

    Don’t matter if your a surfer or a sponger, pro or a Joe. You drop in your a kook. Shame on whoever dropped in. Just glad “BOTH” made it out without incident.

  49. Greg L says:

    Oh, posters so obvious who bodyboards and who surfs. But all missed the message, “No Drop In”

  50. L. says:

    Watch the video here..

    http://youtu.be/yr1iUqB1TY8

    Who dropped in?! Doesn’t matter.. sick barrel.. And before you bitch, Rodrigo’s leash got stuck on Hubbard’s arm.. he didn’t pull it.. and probably both came up laughing.. now shut up you bitches! Just enjoy the footage..

  51. M.Santos says:

    They are both great surfers, the bodyboarder a world champ and the surfer a great big rider, they both know what they doing out there, this sort of stuff happens all the time in pipe, they both made to the channel and that’s that. People shouldn’t make of this a fight between bodyboarders and surfers, they BOTH should be respect for what they done in the past and if you write for a surf magazine you should know these guys names, even i know!

  52. J. J. says:

    This “article/story/moral” makes the bodyboarder (Jeff Hubbard, 3X World Champ) sound like a douche and a dumbass. The guy on the surfboard, first, looked like he was going to go backdoor instead of Pipe. How come there isn’t a big deal when TWO guys on surfboards share a barrel at Pipe? And how come it doesn’t get published when countless surfers drop in on bodyboarders. Sure we may not be good at surfing on a surfboard, but 80% of surfers have no right to call out a bodyboarder because I am sure they would have no idea how to work a bodyboard if they got on one, let alone hit 10 foot airs off of the Pipe bowl which barely ANY surfer ever attempts, and what most bodyboarders live for out there. The surf world needs to show more respect, and this article is just feeding into the segregation.

  53. JrJ says:

    Greg. It does matter actually. In this instance it was a mistake. From what I’ve read Jeff saw Rodrigo take off for backdoor. They had no problem so lets not make it one. BUT. If any local (surfer,bodyboarder,SUP,bodysurfer)wants to go. They go. Simple as that. Respect all water craft in the ocean. The Hawaiians have it right. Watch this clip of a nice beat down during the pipeline bodyboard contest. Notice the bodyboarder beats the shit out of him, then the local surfers do. It’s not about what you ride. It’s about respecting the locals and everyone else in the water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLd53ncfEzI

  54. rodrigo mendez says:

    hahahaha tangled with the surfer leash hahahahahaha!!!!!!!

  55. João says:

    SURFER MAG = SHITTY … and still getting worst every year!!!! Go ahead surf industry sluts!!!

  56. Kenny says:

    Surfing gonna run with this – the comment section here is usually pretty thin, but anytime there is bodyboard vs. surf drama (see the Wassel Sapinus issue) the comment section and undoubtedly article views skyrocket!

  57. rodrigo mendez says:

    Ahora en espanol El Fronton 100% bodyboarding o otras olas para boogie no mas Pipeline drama ni andar jalando leashes ,etc.Fui 4 veces a Hawaii Pipe increible pero todo ese romanticismo que crean acerca de esa ola es patetico yo e tenido la oportunidad de surfear tahiti ,mexico,chile ,australia ,etc puta gente racista a los blancos que les dicen haoles cuando casi todos estan mezclados con filipinos ,japoneses ,chinos ,portugueses ,etc son blanqos y buenos surfers o bodyboarders no hay problem ahi si son hawaiianos la cultura de Hawaii es una cultura de doble standard ,welfare ,mala comida ,la violencia domestica,drogadictos ,vagabundos ,obesos,etc.Que paraiso ? hawaiinos metanse su pipe por el culo yo me voy para el Fronton o para donde sea menos regresar a sus putas islas.

  58. Aaron says:

    Hubbard is a local Hawaiian from Kauai. The brazo should know the rules.
    Nice double barrel. Props to both for making it.

  59. rodrigo mendez says:

    Bodyboarders internacionales y Surfers deberiamos de boycotear ir a las Welfare Islands por su estupida actitudad de localismo no es mi aportacion a este blog acerca de Bodyboarders vs Surfers ,yo soy bodyboarder y no quiero dispersar odio si no abrirle los ojos al mundo del surfing.La realidad ,despues de mis visitas 4 visitas y el haber vivido casi 4 anos en la isla de welfoahu vi la realidad (no entiendo como Tamega,Los Taylor,Ferrari ,etc les gusta vivir ahi bueno eso no es mi problema ni lo sera .Porque cuando los hawaiinos cuando van a otros lados poque no se comportan co esa actitud y cuando estan es sus islas son re machos pues claro en esos spots son como piranas .Voy a nombrar algunos de los embajadores de Alohala Da Hui (E Rothman)Johnny (boy) Gomes ,Sunny Garcia ,Kala Alexander ,Wolfpack ,Pipeline Posse,etc y las generaciones que vienen de esa escoria.Amo al bodyboarding tengo haciendolo 33 anos e surfiado por todo el mundo :Irlanda ,Inglaterra ,Espana (las Canarias)Marruecos ,Sur Africa,Francia ,Portugal ,Noruega,Indonesia ,Tailandia,Australia,Nueva Zelanda,Filipinas Cook Islands ,Fiji,Taihiti,Samoa,Canada Vancouver Island y Nova Escocia toda la costa del lado este de USA y toda la costa del lado oeste, surfie el los grandes lagos y en algunos rios de USA y Canada,Mexico ,Baja Mexico,Guatemala ,El salvador ,,Nicaragua ,Costa Rica ,Panama,Ecuador las Galapagos,Peru,Chile,Argentina,Uruguay ,Brasil,Puerto Rico, Republica Dominicana ,e conocido gente increible en mis viajes 4 idiomas uno no necesita ser profesional en bodyboarding para que el mundo te de respeto si no ser educado y respetuoso hacia los demas y no jalarle el leash a alguien y luego acerse el que el no lo hizo que cobarde de Hubb te admiro como un gran bodyboarder pero comno persona lo dudo.

  60. guijermo says:

    The bodyboarder is only Jeff hubbard. As Mike Stewart, a king of pipeline.A local guy who always respect the surfers and bodyboarders that are not locals. So , try to know who is he, to say something!!!

  61. M Gomes says:

    Brendan Buckley YOU ARE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE TRY TO BE A PROFESSIONAL AND DO NOT WRITTING SHIT LIKE THAT !!!!

  62. M Gomes says:

    Brendan Buckley try to be more professional next time !!! You talk about the Hawaian jeff Hubbard !

  63. ridersoftubes says:

    lol surfer always trying to dredge up confrontation… funny thing is without spongers you wouldn’t even have a magazine. and you mag pretty much sucks anyway :)

  64. The Chemist says:

    Just another stupid article by Surfing mag to get surfers to hate bodyboarders. Maybe you can show the jillion of pix where a$$holes who worship your $hitty mag burn bodyboarders cuz they think it’s cool. Should we also discriminate against black surfers? Bye bye soul surfing on any craft (Except SUP! ;-) ) Surfing mag has ruined surfing.

  65. hawkeye says:

    All you guys who wear leashes got zero room to talk,at least back in the day surfers where true water men,now seems like you all are a bunch of foul mouthed kids.As far as local boy threats,please read New Testament,we are all our brothers keeper.Feel the love,and be thankful for what you have.

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