Are You Ready For JetSurfing?

Seriously, are you ready for JetSurfing? Are you ready to feel the rumble of a motor slicing through the still of a lagoon underneath your bare feet? Are you ready to feel a stern wind being generated from your flaccid sexual organs? Are you ready for the future?

I’m kind of not. Surfing, to me, is just fine as it is. I can go in the ocean, wait for a while, battle some crowds, catch a few closeouts, burn a guy on a SUP, try a sub-par air or three on a sub-par section or four — it’s all incredibly imperfect, but aren’t imperfections so fun? I’d say they are. And while Onean’s JetSurfing board looks like it’d be a blast (especially if you drank half a bottle of Jim Bean beforehand), I’ll stick to my beloved ocean for now. Plus, they say saltwater is good for the skin.