Bears excel at a variety of different activities — mauling, living in Alaska, stealing picnic baskets, growling, being a Chicago-based NFL team, hibernating, advising the general public not to set things on fire, so on and so forth. Surfing, however, is not on that list. I mean, look at this asshole. He’s doing it all wrong. First of all, that board. I wouldn’t pay $25 for that piece at a garage sale and I’m by no means frugal. And then there’s the glaring mistake of being in a pool. I get that it’s a body of water but come on bear, be better. And his paddling technique? Absolute shit.
Bottom line: Bears should stop surfing. You heard it here first.