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Breaking: Ocean Deemed To Be Unpredictable

Isn’t it something that a single breath can spawn an entire storm a thousand miles away?

I’m not so sure if that is, in fact, something — anyone here a meteorologist? I went to journalism school, so I know very little about the forces that sculpt our atmosphere, but it sounds pretty unbelievable to me. Like, a breath? Out of a mouth? Spawning a storm 1,000 miles away?

If exhalation spawns storms and storms spawn waves, why wouldn’t we just round up all the mouthbreathers from every elementary school nationwide, plop em in a boat, attach some sort of apparatus that holds a (still nude) copy of PlayBoy to the side of the boat as to replicate the mouthbreathers natural habitat of standing over people’s shoulders and peering at something just out of the comfortable reach of a gaze, and have them float around a while wheezing everywhere. There’s your 100-foot wave, Greg Long.

I don’t think it’s something.

The WSL’s new commercial is something, though. I actually like it — even though it lead me down a dark and strange tunnel of thought that culminated with a public suggestion to kidnap a large group of children, give them pornography and aimlessly sail them around the Pacific (the reaction they were after, I’m sure).

But yeah. Pretty cool ad. The ocean, like surfing, is unpredictable and that’s worth celebrating. I could see an ad like that enticing a new fan or two. So well played, WSL.

Just fact check the meteorological integrity for me next time.

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