#Tournotes: John John Wins Rio*

Everybody’s gotta earn their keep, even John John Florence. John gets paid a very large keep from Hurley — but how does he earn it? By making Pipe his bitch? By landing airs that make grown men (even construction workers!) weak in the knees? By making a movie that’ll make grown men (even garbagemen!) even weak even in their trashmen thighs? By being the most marketable surfer of this generation? Eh, maybe. Or it’s by beating Hurley marketing man Pat O’Connell in a heat at Rio. See it in the latest edition of #Tournotes above.

Side note: Brett Simpson could have a very bright future in the webcast game — he’s got the perfect amount of goofy.